No Need For Camping
by Some1Else
Summary: Katsuhito suggests that the family should take a camping trip. Things will hardly be normal. Watch as Ryoko springs a couple of traps. Learn while Ayeka exercises her wit. Cringe at how gullible Mihoshi is. Laugh when Washu poisons a lake.
1. No Need For Peace

**Note : **This Tenchi story takes place in the Universe realm.

**No Need For Camping.**

**By Some1Else.  
**

**Chapter #1: No Need For Peace.**

The sun began to descend over the horizon as a fresh evening breeze blew through the countryside. Tenchi was outside doing his weekly routine of chores that Katsuhito had assigned to him. He'd completed all his other tasks except for sweeping up the leaves that had fallen from the numerous trees that surrounded the large house in which he and several other colorful individuals lived in. Thanks to Washu's little basement project that she had recently finished, the house had become even more spacious. Despite the numerous explosions that kept the family awake at night caused by Washu working over time, it turned out rather well and provided further recreational rooms for an already versatile home.

To start with, the new basement had two large bedrooms that were completely furnished just in case another space babe landed. Because of past circumstances, nobody could really doubt the possibility of it happening again and they were hoping quite hard that it wouldn't. But just in case it did, those rooms were there. Until then, they would function as guest bedrooms without guests. Washu had also gone so far as to equip one room with a defense system that would keep Ryoko out if she became advantageous again. Only Tenchi knew of this and he was advised not to take advantage of hiding down there since doing so would cause suspicion.

In addition to the extra rooms was a gaming chamber full of several different types of entertainment. That still wasn't enough for Nobuyuki. He asked Washu to install a bar so they could have something classy in the house. At first she wasn't going to do it, but he wouldn't quit bugging her so she caved in. Everyone thought it was a bad idea, but Ryoko didn't react the way they thought she would have. Tenchi realized they should have known better. Ryoko usually drank in moderation and rarely drank with the intention of severally impairing herself. The presence of the bar hadn't tempted her to get drunk more often, although she did use it from time to time. Tenchi gathered a large pile of leaves together and pulled a trash bag out of his pocket. He then began stuffing the dead leaves into the bag.

As he did, he continued to reflect on his current state of affairs. If he could lose himself in thought while doing his chores the work became less annoying. Life was certainly changing. Ryoko had kept good on her promise to him for approximately eight days and seven hours. Tenchi had kept count. How she had managed to restrain herself was a mystery to him. Ryoko appeared to be taking the entire ordeal quite well for the most part. At times he caught her biting her nails nervously and muttering dark things to herself just before she walked head first into a wall she failed to notice. Those were isolated incidents. Her new mentality was having a positive effect on her. She did more work around the house instead of avoiding responsibility. That didn't stop her from swearing up a storm every time it was her turn to clean the toilet bowl while making idle threats involving dismembering so-and-so for not doing it for her, but that was okay.

When Ayeka wasn't within earshot he thanked Ryoko for her efforts, which caused a more secure bond to form between them. As of late, she was even learning how to cook. Sasami was her tutor. Normally that would be a good thing, but Ryoko was a difficult student. Even the most basic soup recipe escaped her comprehension. Sasami remained patient and supportive, hoping that through practice Ryoko would soon be able to handle cooking ramen properly. So far, she was unable to prepare anything without somehow making a small mistake that had a large effect on the taste of whatever she was working on. Ryoko called it bad luck. Sasami couldn't figure it out.

Finding someone to taste test the stuff was rather difficult. Sasami could eat just about anything and find some enjoyment out of it and she didn't have a heart capable of criticizing someone else, even if it was constructive. That ruled her out. At one point she managed to convince Washu to have some of Ryoko's now infamous potato salad, which Washu expected to be far from bearable. She became deathly ill for around ten hours until she managed to flush out the poison with around three gallons of purified spring water. Not being one to let innovation suffer, Washu poured the uneaten salad into a sealable bowl right before it was tossed. This successfully wiped out all the rodents and insects that had found their way into her lab.

Tenchi began to suspect that he would receive a variation of the same meal from Ryoko sometime in the near future. It would be both a heart felt gesture and a slam against her rival. Upon discussing the topic with Washu, she told Tenchi not to worry about it. She had some gadgets that were capable of saving him should he go into shock. Probably. That wasn't what he wanted to hear, but Tenchi didn't bother trying to get Washu to provide a different answer to the same question as doing so really annoyed her.

He suddenly remembered what had become of Mihoshi after her unfortunate incident with Ryoko where they teamed up to get the key for the shock collar. Kiyone had eventually found her partner soon after the device had fallen off. Mihoshi had been duct tapped to a tree branch with a gag shoved in her mouth. A large mirror was beneath her that allowed Mihoshi to get a perfect view of her predicament so she could "reflect" on her mistake, even though the mishap had technically been an accident. Ryoko didn't see it that way and insisted she had "only been kidding" when she hinted that Mihoshi had been buried somewhere. Nobody saw the humor in that. She hadn't expected them to. Katsuhito was the one who took it upon himself to free Mihoshi, who didn't realize she had been punished.

Mihoshi was unable to recall anything past asking Ryoko for the cookie she had been promised. Nobody filled her in on the details. She didn't bother asking. Knowing Mihoshi as they did, she'd probably already forgotten about it. Permanently. Out of pity, Sasami baked a batch of raisin cookies for her. Just as they expected, Mihoshi couldn't figure out the reason for the occasion and as fate would have it, Mihoshi choked on one of the raisins and would have suffocated if Katsuhito had not performed the Heimlich maneuver on her. Finally, the shock collar itself had been attached to Nobuyuki, but it soon fizzled out and died due to overuse. This fascinated Washu since the battery she had equipped it with should have lasted at least thirty years. Eventually Washu found that the battery had cracked soon after it had left Ryoko's neck. The acid that escaped from the broken battery was what destroyed the device. This discovery was made shortly after it ate a hole through the floor it had been laying on. In a horrible instance of bad luck, it had landed right on Ayeka's lap.

"How much money did you put into that thing?" Ryoko had asked Washu while she applied medicine to the skin the acid had eaten off of Ayeka's hips.

"Apparently not enough." Washu had answered.

"This stuff is cold!" Ayeka had complained.

The useless device was now in the hands of Ryoko, who repaired it and now kept it hidden somewhere in her room. That was pretty much it. Tenchi finished filling the trash bag with dead leaves. He tied it up and set the bulky sack down beside him. Tenchi searched the ground for any spare leaves he might have missed. There were none. Now all he needed to do was burn the bag. Katsuhito didn't approve of this method, but Tenchi did it anyway just to save time. After that he'd be free for the rest of the evening.

He'd prefer to hang out with his real friends, but he never did manage to successfully sneak out. If Ryoko didn't catch him, Ayeka did. He stayed at home willingly because he didn't want to be seen in public with either of them. Seeing bolts of energy that caused enormous explosions emit from the palms of women with extravagant hairstyles would probably raise more questions than he was prepared to lie his way out of, so once his shower was done he would probably wind up playing pool with Ayeka or Ryoko, depending on who he ran into first. It was the same as always. He was grateful it didn't become to tiring.

Tenchi tossed the thoughts aside, stood up, and heard someone approaching him from behind. He turned and faced Mihoshi, who had on her working clothes along with a cheerful smile that was far to energetic. It always managed to make her look like a fruit.

"I'll burn those for you, Tenchi." Mihoshi offered nicely, pointing to the bag as she did.

"Er. . .no thanks, Mihoshi. No offense, but I don't trust you with fire." Tenchi said. He felt a sweat drop go down his face and quickly decided to change the subject. "Do you need something?"

Mihoshi stood still for a moment, trying to recall exactly why she had come to speak with Tenchi. He noticed that there was a note on her hand scribbled in Ryoko's handwriting, which was highly recognizable due to how neat it was. Being good with a pen probably came in handy whenever she felt like forging a signature. Mihoshi slowly brought her hand up to her face and examined the writing. After reading it, she smiled.

"Now I remember! Ryoko told me to tell you that she wants you to play pool with her."

"How nice of her." Tenchi said to himself.

"You're almost like a hotel, Tenchi." Mihoshi commented, still smiling.

"Why's that?" Tenchi asked reluctantly.

"Ayeka and Ryoko are always trying to reserve you."

Mihoshi got a good laugh out of that. Tenchi grinned weakly but couldn't completely hide how horrible he thought her joke was.

"How come she couldn't ask me herself?" Tenchi asked.

"Who?" Mihoshi queried.

"Ryoko." Tenchi stated.

"What about Ryoko?"

"She sent you to tell me she wanted to play pool, remember?"

"She did?"

"Look at the note."

"What note?"

"The note that's on your hand." Tenchi stated irritably.

A sweat drop appeared on Mihoshi's face. She examined the letters which formed a word and created a sentence. Mihoshi reacted to the message as though she hadn't relayed it just seconds ago like she had just done.

"Oh! Tenchi, Ryoko wants you to play pool with her." Mihoshi said.

"You said that already." Tenchi stated.

Mihoshi blinked.

"I did?" she saw Tenchi nod. "Well how about that!"

"But how come she didn't ask me in person? It seems a little bit silly to. . .wait, she's being lazy again, isn't she?"

"Now that's not a nice thing to say." Mihoshi said while nodding her head.

Tenchi was impressed. Apparently Mihoshi was capable of interpreting sarcasm and unspoken hints.

"Ryoko sure does have nice handwriting." Mihoshi said almost to herself. "She wrote it on my hand because it was supposed to help me remember what I was suppose to ask you. And look at this."

Mihoshi held up her left palm. A map was drawn on it that had directions on how to get from the basement to where Tenchi was sweeping up dead leaves. Tenchi had to give Mihoshi the benefit of the doubt but at the same time understood why Ryoko had taken the time to give her a map. Mihoshi might have gotten lost or side-tracked without it. That was pushing it, though. Tenchi figured there was no way she could be that absent minded. Apparently he thought more of her than Ryoko. That was a good thing to know.

So far it seemed like Ryoko wasn't going to pull anything funny. If she was going to try and seduce him she would have just gone out and done so as long as there weren't any witnesses around unless she felt like irritating Ayeka. Tenchi still had to be careful, though. Ryoko's caress might have been sweet, but at the same time it was troublesome. Most of the time she was compliant with Tenchi's reluctance, but that didn't make it feel any less uncomfortable for him.

"Mihoshi, is there anybody else downstairs?" Tenchi asked.

"Ayeka and Washu were in there together playing darts the last time I checked." Mihoshi answered. "Nobuyuki's in the bar. When I saw him he was putting a futon on the floor behind the counter just in case he falls asleep in there again."

"Dad. . ." Tenchi grumbled distastefully.

So long as Ryoko was around other people, Tenchi would be safe. Never once had she tried anything totally explicit with him in public, although he wouldn't put it past her and had experienced a few reoccurring nightmares that dealt with that possibility. All he had to worry about were teases and he could deal with those.

"I guess I'll go, then. Thanks, Mihoshi." Tenchi said, walking past her.

"For what?"

"It'll come to you eventually." Tenchi said hopelessly without even bothering to look at her.

"Alright!"

Tenchi entered the house and headed for the shower. While washing himself he kept checking the walls to see if Ryoko was spying on him. Occasionally she'd poke her head in, which never failed to scare the hell out of him. It felt ridiculous, but he knew it was okay to be paranoid about it. After finishing, he sprinted up to his room and locked the door. Tenchi checked for Ryoko a second time. This task had become so painfully automatic that he didn't realize he was doing it most of the time. He changed quickly and headed for the basement. To get to it, he first had to enter the storeroom that led to Washu's lab. Almost immediately after deciding the house could use a basement, Nobuyuki figured it was far to much work than he could afford. That's where Washu came in.

Using the infinite amount of tools she had at her disposal, Washu did what she always had done to build a new room without breaking a sweat. She installed a separate dimension that led into it. Tenchi thought it was better than having to dig a hole and even though he didn't like the fact that there were now three rooms inside the house that bent the laws of physics, he refrained from complaining. Since the storeroom led to two of those areas of inhabitable space, a control panel was installed near the back that opened up either one. Tenchi had to crawl past some junk in order to get to it. The panel itself was bright red with two distinctly colored buttons leading to different holes in the fabric of infinity.

The orange button would take him to Washu's lab or her waiting room if she was busy. Nobody liked Washu's waiting room. It brought on an unshakable sense of vertigo. The green button opened a portal to the basement, which they had to furnish on their own since nobody thought it would be a good idea to employ the aid of movers. Tenchi pressed the button for the basement and a door materialized to the right of the panel. That bothered him. It should have been on the left. Tenchi opened the featureless wooden door and descended the flight of steps in front of him. Washu could have left them out, but since she was doing a basement she decided to add in stairs so whoever was entering the room would feel as though they were actually walking down into a real basement. This also didn't sit quite right with Tenchi. He found it impractical.

At the bottom of the stairs there was a moody living room that branched off into two hallways. Nobuyuki was asleep on one of the leather sofas. His drink was placed on the table next to the sofa. Tenchi picked it up and gave it a sniff. It was pretty strong. He set it back down and walked down the hallway to his left. The one on the right lead to the bar, which was currently closed and most likely locked. The spare rooms were located along the hallway he was walking down, which opened up to the right near the end. That was where the recreation room was. He hadn't even taken five steps forward when he was pulled into a nearby room. Before he could react, Tenchi was in a tight headlock. He didn't bother struggling to much because he already knew who it was.

"Caught you!" Ryoko whispered.

"I'm not going to have to scream, am I?" Tenchi asked blandly.

"Of course not." Ryoko assured.

She closed the door from behind with her foot and put herself up against it before letting Tenchi go. Ryoko then flipped a switch for a nearby light. Tenchi rubbed his eyes at the sudden brightness and focused on what was in the room. A bed was up against the corner. There was a large empty closet and a door that led into a bathroom. A couple of comfortable chairs were seated around a table. Perhaps the most amusing aspect of the room were the two windows along the top. If Tenchi were to look out one, he would see a simulated view of their backyard. The floor was made out of a beautiful type of wood. On the modest table was food or more specifically, dinner. Tenchi wasn't even hungry. He didn't bother asking Ryoko for an explanation.

Ryoko was eager to show off her feminine superiority over Ayeka. The entire situation called for gratitude, but Tenchi was slightly unsettled. Even though Sasami was teaching her how to cook he was confident Ryoko wasn't at an acceptable level yet. After all, she had only been taking lessons for about a month. The new material probably seemed archaic to her.

"Alright. What's going on?" Tenchi asked.

"I'll be honest with you. Sasami says I'm never going to pass her class if I keep cooking the way I do."

"Class? Since when did it become a class?" Tenchi asked.

"When I made it one." Ryoko quickly answered. "But that's irrelevant. Look, I need you to taste test something for me."

"Why can't Washu do it?"

Ryoko sighed in frustration.

"Because she said her taste buds will need about two months to regenerate due to the result of the previous meal I made."

"Why is cooking so important to you?" Tenchi asked, trying to buy himself some time.

"Because Ayeka can do it and I can't!" Ryoko said in an overly frustrated tone. "That's pretty much the only thing. . .the _only_ thing she has over me!"

"But Ayeka has never brought that up during an argument, Ryoko."

"Oh, but she thinks it!" Ryoko said deviously. "She thinks it!"

"When, Ryoko? When does Ayeka think this?"

"All the time!" Ryoko shouted. "I'm tired of being silently belittled by someone I constantly belittle. Now you eat that!" Ryoko pointed to the meal. "Please." she said, adding in some manners. "I used everything I've learned up to this point to prepare that for you."

Tenchi sighed and hung his head low in defeat. Ryoko grinned slightly. The food on the table was painfully basic. It was a simple bowl of ramen with a mixture of vegetables and meat thrown in for good measure. Next to it was a cup of green tea. Upon further inspection Tenchi noticed that the glass was one of Ryoko's lucky mugs. Unlike most of the stuff Ryoko usually created when she finished cooking, this bowl wasn't a dull brown color. That probably meant she'd mastered the art of adding flavor to her food. Even so, there was still too much wrong with her culinary skills to make him feel easy about helping her.

He seated himself in front of the table and prepared to use the provided chopsticks. After taking a deep breath and telling himself that this would make her feel better, he picked up a piece of meat and placed it inside his mouth, wondering vaguely what his life would be like if he had never met any of the ladies. What taste he managed to get out of the meat was a combination of three different kinds of sauces that didn't mix well. There was also an abundance of salt mixed in with it that caused his throat to close and his mouth to rapidly salivate. _Oh, god! This is it, I'm going to die!_ He tried to keep himself from gagging, but that didn't work. Ryoko looked devastated. Tenchi dropped the chopsticks and swallowed the entire cup of green tea in two large gulps. He accidentally swallowed the tea leaf at the bottom of the cup while doing so.

When he managed to quit convulsing, he turned his attention to Ryoko. She looked heavily disappointed with herself and was staring at the floor.

"Why can't I do this?" Ryoko asked herself. "Maybe I should actually listen during the lessons instead of simply trying to copy what Sasami does."

"Oh, it's not all that bad." Tenchi interjected, trying to be helpful. "Cooking is certainly more productive than sitting on the couch all day watching cartoons or just generally doing nothing. It's good that you're doing more than you use to, even if it's for a competitive reason. Besides, I'm sure you'll eventually be able to cook like Sasami. I'd give it a couple months, though. For now, just stick to washing bed sheets."

She smiled slightly and nodded, acknowledging what he had said.

"You really think so?" Ryoko asked.

"No, he's just saying that to make you feel better." a bitter voice assured her.

Ryoko cringed at the venom the tone held and knew automatically that Ayeka had arrived. Nobody else spoke to Ryoko in such an overbearingly harsh manner. Tenchi and Ryoko looked toward the door just as the princess entered. She was holding a plate of food. Obviously she had heard about Ryoko's little cooking exploits and saw this situation as a perfect opportunity to assert her dominance. The meal she had with her was a lot more elaborate than a bowl of noodles. She brushed past Ryoko briskly and pushed the bowl with noodles clear to the edge of the table using her personal plate. Tenchi looked at it. Ayeka had cooked a familiar look fish that made Tenchi feel as though he should recall what kind it was before he even tried to eat it. Ayeka sat down beside him. Ryoko began growling dangerously.

"Oh, boy. . ." Tenchi said to himself. "Here we go again."

He had begun to think that the fights between Ryoko and Ayeka weren't so much about winning his approval as they were geared toward satisfying the respective ego's of the two women. That could have been the reason why they fought over him so viciously. Perhaps he had been silently labeled as the necessary condition for a proper victory. After all, winning the affection of another person could be something to brag about and while they always tried to prove themselves better than the other, their somewhat creative efforts usually ended in vain. No wonder there was so much friction between them.

"I'm afraid there are some things we just can't do, Miss Ryoko." Ayeka said with mock honesty.

"I told you!" Ryoko shouted at Tenchi. "What did I just finish discussing with you not more than ten minutes ago? And to think you didn't believe me!"

"I was skeptical, I didn't say anything about not. . .well, you're not even listening to me anyway, are you?" Tenchi asked.

"She really does hold something that insignificantly meaningless against me!" Ryoko said, oblivious to Tenchi's logic.

"Keep using double negatives like that and I'll also add grammar to what I hold against you."

"Well, you go ahead and do that, then. But you don't have what really matters. And what is it that really matters?"

"Sex appeal!" everyone declared at once.

"See, when all three of us can say it together like that it's not even worth mentioning anymore." Tenchi asserted.

They ignored him.

"Honestly, Ryoko, what is it with you and sex?" Ayeka said, rolling her eyes. "You always pull that card out whenever we argue."

Ryoko gasped, obviously noticing she'd been backed into a corner. She kept her wits about her as she knelt down beside Tenchi and threw her arms around him. Ryoko then hugged him tightly while placing her head against his chest. Ayeka's face turned a bright crimson color. In the midst of all this, Tenchi was trying to block everything out until they eventually either stormed off or blew something up. Either way, that would end the argument and he could get on with his evening.

"She's scaring me, Tenchi!" Ryoko announced sarcastically with such force that she was left breathless by the time she got to his name.

"I know." Tenchi announced dully. This was nothing new to him.

"Miss Ryoko, you get your filthy hands off of Tenchi this instant before he gets some of your germs!" Ayeka said authoritatively.

"Why don't you make me?" Ryoko dared.

"Currently I can't do that because I'll hurt the hostage." Ayeka retorted.

"How clever." Ryoko said, moderately impressed. "But let me ask you a question, Ayeka. How come you can't do things like this?"

"What, throw myself all over a man?" Ayeka answered. Ryoko nodded. "Because I'm not afraid that if I don't partake in physical aggression, the man I seek will no longer have any affection for me."

She chuckled darkly and then lifted her head off of Tenchi's chest. He was still held captive in her arms, though. She gave Ayeka a sly look and then began to draw a small circle on his chest while looking at him contentedly. Tenchi jerked in response to the action, but quickly settled down.

"Tenchi, you know what I think?" Ryoko asked.

"You think Ayeka is envious of us, that's what you think." Tenchi answered.

"No, but that was a very good guess." Ryoko admitted. "I think that Ayeka is jealous of us, that's what I think. What is it that you think?"

"I am not even in on this conversation." Tenchi responded. "Can't either of you find something better to do?"

"Hey, I read." Ryoko said. "Occasionally. Besides which, I've taken up the interesting hobby of domino toppling and posting obscene comments on Internet message boards that have nothing to do with the subject at hand."

"Sounds exciting." Tenchi muttered.

Ryoko nodded. A small pause ensued between the whole group. Ayeka was the one to break it.

"I've watched you take lessons from Sasami, Ryoko." she said. "It's a pity cooking is not something that comes naturally to you."

"We all have things we're good at." Ryoko responded.

"Just what's that suppose to mean?" Ayeka demanded, slightly offended.

"Nothing." Ryoko said, slightly irritated. "Do you have to read into everything I say?"

"I think listening to you stunts my intellect." Ayeka growled, turning to Tenchi as she spoke. "Tenchi, I have some food for you that has been prepared by me." Ayeka stated gently. "I would greatly appreciate it if you tried it out. It should be better than any of that poison the space pirate gave you."

Ryoko regarded the fish for a moment and looked up at Ayeka.

"That's sushi." Ryoko said.

"My, you do have a sense of culture!" Ayeka congratulated sarcastically. "And here I had just about given up on you."

"You didn't even cut it right." She stated cunningly.

"That's completely ridiculous. Utterly. . ." Ayeka trailed off and let the words sink in. Her confidence immediately disappeared. "You must be joking." Ayeka stammered.

Ryoko picked up the plate and offered it to the princess. Ayeka took it gently, trembling nervously. She examined it a bit closer and discovered that she had failed to clean out all the toxic bits of the fish. This was due to how quickly she had prepared it.

"Impossible." Ayeka said in a barely audible tone.

"Ahh, yes. Blowfish. Good thing I caught that, Ayeka. If Tenchi had taken a bite out of it, he'd be dead if Washu didn't get to him fast enough. But I'm surprised. You don't know how to cut blowfish? I might not be able to cook, but even I know how to properly prepare that delicacy if the situation calls for it." Ryoko explained.

"Did you kill a few people like that?" Tenchi mumbled in a dull tone.

Ryoko jumped in response to that and glared at Tenchi very darkly.

"That's a secret, Tenchi." Ryoko said sternly. "Don't go saying things like that out loud."

Ayeka dropped to her knees in front of Tenchi, assuming a position of forgiveness. She retained her composure despite what had happened.

"Tenchi, I am so sorry." she said heavily. "In my rush to make this dish, I must have overlooked the most important step in preparing it."

"It really doesn't matter." Tenchi assured her. "At least nobody got hurt."

"Next time read the directions on the back of the box." Ryoko muttered.

"Blowfish does not come out of a box, Ryoko." Ayeka said.

"Yeah, well. . ." Ryoko breathed in deep, struggling to figure out how she could counter that remark. "You still suck."

They both stood up at once. Tenchi scooted backward until his back was up against the door. He didn't bother leaving. Tenchi felt he should do his best to be the voice of reason until the situation became dangerous.

"I _do not_ suck!" Ayeka yelled.

"Then how come you don't have one of these, huh?" Ryoko asked.

She pulled an expensive looking tape recorder out of her kimono. It was the type usually used to record class lectures. Tenchi couldn't even begin to guess how Ryoko planned to use it to her advantage. At least it wouldn't put a hole in the wall, unless she threw it at Ayeka. Even then, the dimension they were in would repair itself automatically. Ayeka chuckled lightly at Ryoko's ploy.

"Why don't I have a tape recorder?" Ayeka asked mockingly. "Is that what you're asking?"

"On the contrary, it is not the tape recorder itself that is important. It is the statement on the tape that this tape recorder recorded that I am saying is worth something!"

"Did you know you're not very good at putting style into your sentences? Ayeka asked.

"Quiet, you! I was merely emphasizing. Now listen!"

Ryoko pushed the play button and thumbed the volume up to its maximum setting. A message began to play back immediately.

"Tenchi, who is it that you really love?" Ryoko asked.

_Sqweee. . ._

Ayeka burst out laughing.

"Stupid old tape player. I should have cleaned the heads before I used it." Ryoko muttered. "That's not his answer! You have to wait for it."

Tenchi covered his face in shame with both of his hands. This was all a poorly constructed ruse and probably the worst one Ryoko had ever conceived.

"I love you, Ryoko." Tenchi's voice said in an odd tone.

It was easy enough to deduce that the voice in the speakers was none other than Ryoko trying to sound manly. Even though her voice was fairly deep for a woman, it still wasn't low enough to allow her to pass herself off as a dude. Ayeka gave Ryoko a look that silently asked if she really expected her to believe that load of bull.

"Ayeka is a beastly woman." Tenchi's impersonation announced.

"Beastly?" Ayeka repeated angrily.

"She gives me a rash and. . ."

Tenchi's session of false confessions ended abruptly. Ryoko's embarrassment was clearly evident.

"How the hell?" Ryoko asked, looking at the recorder disbelievingly.

"Looks like someone ran out of batteries mid-way through their production, and I use that term lightly." Ayeka said triumphantly. "While I'm at it, I might as well add in that you don't sound anything like Tenchi."

Ryoko quickly recovered from that momentary set back. She placed the recorder back inside her kimono and looked at Ayeka seriously.

"But what if it had been real? What if Tenchi really does choose me over you? What will you do if he does? Where will you even go?"

Ayeka was caught completely off guard. It was clear she was struggling to formulate a proper answer to that question. There were many solutions to that dreadful possibility, but none of them were very pleasing. Ryoko gave Ayeka about ten seconds to think about it before continuing her tirade.

"I thought so. What a shame!" Ryoko lamented right before she began laughing.

"Where will you go if he chooses me?" Ayeka asked, trying to use Ryoko's own poison against her.

"Back to where I came from, which I believe would be much more exciting than your options."

Ryoko stuck her tongue out at Ayeka and pulled down the skin beneath her right eye. As was always the case with her antics, this further provoked Ayeka's anger. Tenchi was surprised they hadn't started launching energy balls at each other by this point.

"This whole ordeal is so asinine!" Ayeka shouted. "It's just like the one time at school where you convinced everyone that I had a strain of cooties that would infect anyone I came into contact with!" Ayeka's voice took on a sad tone. "I was so lonely for the entire second grade. Nobody tried to make friends with me at all."

Ryoko blinked in confusion and then looked over at Tenchi and shook her head, denying the story. She then returned her attention to Ayeka.

"That proves that your side of the story for all our past encounters as children are false! I knew I was right." Ryoko said triumphantly. "You see, I rarely went to school and my guardians were certainly not affluent enough to send me to a royal academy. Furthermore, the only real education I received was the stuff I taught myself."

"That. . .that's not true." Ayeka said in total disbelief. "It had to be you. You're telling me you don't remember it at all?"

"I don't like to think about my childhood." Ryoko said carefully.

"Well, someone made me an outcast in second grade!"

"I don't care either way! Stuff like that shouldn't even matter anymore." Tenchi interjected, but he was ignored again.

Ayeka knew she was losing this argument, especially since her own memories were now at the mercy of Ryoko's. This wasn't good at all. Then again, Ayeka wasn't entirely clear on any of her encounters with the space pirate prior to being stuck with her on Earth. She'd chosen to blot most of them out of her mind and when she had actually tried to remember them, Ayeka had recalled them in a way that was beneficial for her. But what if she was wrong and Ryoko was right? Ayeka did remember being somewhat ill-tempered as a child until Sasami had been born. Or something like that. Nothing was right anymore and thinking about it was starting to make her nervous so she did the only thing she could do, which was to laugh it off and throw another insult.

"You may be right about that, Ryoko. Perhaps your stories are more natural than you are." Ayeka asked.

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"I'm simply asking how much of your body is plastic. Care to share that bit of info with us?"

That lit the proverbial fuse. Ryoko's face turned bright red with anger. Both of her fists were clenched together tight.

"I'm going to reach down your throat, grab you by the ass, and I'm going to pull you inside out!" Ryoko threatened.

Ayeka was not able to come up with an equally intimidating threat so she settled for what she had at that moment.

"Me too!" Ayeka exclaimed, pointing at Ryoko.

"It's about time!" Ryoko said, her power flaring up all around her. "Plastic. . ." she said between gritted teeth.

"Beastly. . ." Ayeka snarled.

"Excuse me, ladies." Tenchi said nervously.

They both gave him a look that told him not to interfere.

"I'm just going to close this here door real slowly, okay?" Tenchi said while chuckling nervously. "I just thought you two might like to know that. Play nice now, all right?"

Tenchi calmly slid the door open and then closed it as slowly as he could when he was on the other side. That's when the first explosion sounded off. There was only one person who could stop them in this state. Katsuhito.

"Grandpa!" Tenchi shouted.

When the Shinto priest did not show himself instantly, Tenchi figured he was at the shrine. He felt an incredibly strong sense of deja vu as he ran to it. He remembered why he hated stair laps so much while running up the stone steps. Even so, he managed them a bit easier than last time. Eventually he began to smell something burning up ahead. When he finally cleared the steps, what he saw made him turn white. A small part of the shrine office was on fire and Katsuhito was standing in front of it, silently watching it burn. Washu, Sasami, and Kiyone had managed to control just about all of it and were currently running around with fire extinguishers in their hands.

That's when Tenchi remembered he had forgotten to burn the leaves and Mihoshi had offered to do it for him. The equation was almost as complicated as basic math. Mihoshi plus leaves multiplied by fire equaled disaster to the tenth power. She must have accidentally lit the office on fire in the process of burning the leaves. But how? It was Mihoshi. Katsuhito sighed and turned around. He was looking directly at Tenchi, who briefly considered running away as fast as he could.

"Tenchi, may I talk to you about something for a moment?" Katsuhito asked calmly.

"Eh, sure!" Tenchi answered eagerly.

Tenchi quickly ran up to his grandfather and then waited for him to speak.

"Have I not asked you to watch what Mihoshi does? To make sure that nothing too complicated is assigned to her?"

"All the time." Tenchi admitted shamefully.

"Then how did she acquire something capable of producing fire?" Katsuhito asked calmly.

"I don't know."

"Neither do I."

There was a long silence that was broken only by the wind and the occasional discharge of the fire extinguishers coupled with the three girls shouting at each other. Tenchi tried very hard not to show any signs of fear. Katsuhito probably would be harder on him if he did. He had to justify his actions somehow. Quickly Tenchi began thinking of a reasonable excuse.

"Then we shall think of it as being bitten by a stray dog. . ." Katsuhito began.

"That was so close." Tenchi muttered underneath his breath.

"If only you didn't originally intend to burn the leaves." Katsuhito finished. "That's what put the idea in Mihoshi's head, correct?"

"Please, grandpa. There's no harm in burning leaves." Tenchi tried saying persuasively.

Katsuhito pointed to the office.

"That's beside the point!"

"Where did you intend to burn them, Tenchi? We live in the midst of a forest!" Katsuhito demanded.

"I was going to put them in a metal barrel, or something. Trust me, I wouldn't have been stupid." Tenchi insisted.

"I don't care. One stray spark could be enough to ignite the grass."

"Or in this case the shrine office!" Kiyone shouted.

"Oh, man. . ." Tenchi moaned. "I realize my mistake, grandpa and I promise I'll never do it again."

Katsuhito smirked slightly.

"You sound just like a kid again." Katsuhito mused aloud.

"A kid who's made a very big mistake." Tenchi added.

"What you did might have been foolish, but punishing you will not bring back my office. However, you will help rebuild it." Katsuhito instructed. "Now I sense that you did not come out here just to see me. Is Ryoko seducing you again?"

"She's fighting Ayeka in the basement." Tenchi stated. "We need to stop them!"

"Good luck." Katsuhito simply said.

Tenchi stood there baffled for a moment but before he could continue speaking, Katsuhito interrupted him.

"Despite how much they hate each other, I doubt very seriously that there fights would turn deadly." he stated mysteriously. After a moment, he thought of something else to say. "They're just blowing off steam. I think they secretly like each other but their personalities prevent that feeling from ever fully manifesting itself."

"How do you know that?" Tenchi asked.

Katsuhito paused for a moment, trying to come up with some enigmatic answer that still made sense, which would force Tenchi to think about it. When he was unable to think of something, he left Tenchi to figure out the answer for himself, which worked just as well if not better. Finished with that, he walked toward the small trio of firefighters, intentionally leaving his grandson dumbstruck. Tenchi thought over what his grandfather had told him for a moment and decided that it was good advice even though it didn't help him any. He then turned around and ran back to the house. It looked like this was a problem he'd have to solve on his own and it would help if he didn't have such a limited capacity to do so.

The instant he got to the front gate, he heard a large explosion from above. Tenchi looked up toward his room just in time to see his window shatter outward. Ryoko came flying out of it along with his Playstation 2. The fight must have been getting pretty vicious. Usually they didn't switch rooms unless they were really going at it. How exactly they wound up in his bedroom was a good question he probably would never get a straight answer to. Ryoko hit the ground with a heavy thud. The Playstation 2 landed right on her stomach, allowing her to grab it and thus save it from breaking. Glass rained down on her from above. She shielded herself with one arm while the other held the PS2 securely. From the look of the whole incident, the fight was not going in her favor.

Ryoko lay motionless on the ground, waiting impatiently for her strength to return. She set the PS2 aside and tried standing up. It didn't work. She fell face forward and didn't bother trying to catch herself. Ayeka suddenly came into view, standing in the frame of the broken window. A large amount of power was gathering around her body. Tenchi rushed through the front gate and ran to Ryoko's side, hoping to get her out of the way and possibly convince Ayeka to drop the matter entirely.

"Don't touch her!" Ayeka ordered. "Stay clear!"

Tenchi hesitantly took a step back. Ryoko pushed herself up painfully and sat down on the ground, looking quite dazed.

"Holy. . ." Ryoko groaned, swirling about. "What happened?"

Ayeka trembled with rage, grinning triumphantly. She was one step away from either obliterating Ryoko or knocking her out. Seeing as how Tenchi would probably hate her forever should she actually kill Ryoko, Ayeka was aiming for the first option. Having a KO tallied into her score against the space pirate would carry a victory she could gloat about for a very long time. Maybe, just maybe it would even her adversary out. Perhaps wounding Ryoko's pride would help her become a better person.

"Didn't. . .feel a thing. . ." Ryoko said in a daze. She gave Tenchi a thumbs-up.

Ryoko picked a couple of pieces of glass out of her hair and flicked them aside, completely unfazed by Ayeka's advantage. Finished with that, Ryoko dusted off her kimono while remaining seated. Ayeka jumped out of the window and floated safely down to the ground. She slowly approached the dazed space pirate.

"Nothing. . .got. . .spoon. . ." Ryoko murmured. "Beastly. . .woman."

What happened next played out in slow motion. Ryoko completely collapsed to the ground. Tenchi immediately checked for her pulse and found it. Ayeka sighed in relief and chose to put aside the nagging question as to if it had all been worth it or not. Of course it had. Ryoko wouldn't dare insult her again after that. Hopefully. Tenchi shook his head and looked up at her, his disappointment clearly evident.

"Is this fight over with?" he asked.

Ayeka stared at the ground timidly, the sweet feeling of truly winning a bout against Ryoko fading fast as the rush she'd gained from the fight wore off.

"Making tips but wrong. . ." Ryoko muttered in her sleep.

Ayeka couldn't give him an answer. She knew she shouldn't feel to guilty about this but she did anyway. However, she didn't feel bad enough to retract the fight. After all, Ryoko had almost been asking for it and if she hadn't gotten careless during the scuffle, she wouldn't be napping on the grass. Ayeka wished there was a simpler way to resolve their differences more properly. Washu suddenly appeared on the scene, covered in black soot and smelling strongly of burnt wood. She would have preferred to have gone straight back to her lab for a private shower, but the scene in front of her was to distracting. Washu took one look at the broken window and another at Ryoko's smoldering body and smirked.

"Is she dead?" Washu asked, not really expecting a negative answer.

"Nope." Tenchi said.

Washu approached them for a closer inspection. Heat radiated off of Ryoko's body like a portable furnace. There appeared to be some minor burns on her face and hands. They weren't any more dangerous than a sunburn.

"Sheesh, you really got her good, Ayeka." Washu commented. "The only other thing I've seen knock her out is alcohol. You didn't damage anything, did you?"

Ayeka shook her head silently.

"Good, because I hear Nobuyuki is running out of excuses to tell the insurance companies."

"Yeah." Tenchi said, confirming Washu's suspicion.

"Didn't he actually try telling them the truth once?" Washu asked. "That two women with super-powers were blowing up his house?"

"He did. They wouldn't carry him. Not only that, but they also called his health care provider and let them know about the problem."

"Did they drop him, too?"

"They did."

A silence fell over the group. Tenchi and Washu were looking down at Ryoko while Ayeka was still staring at the dirt, lost in her own thoughts.

"Are we going to have to carry her in?" Washu asked, referring to Ryoko.

"Probably." Tenchi said.

"I'll do it." Ayeka offered. "It's the least I can do to make up for the disturbance."

She didn't even bother waiting for them to say yes or no. Ayeka knelt down and swung Ryoko's arm over her shoulder and then lifted her crumpled body up. Ryoko mumbled something incoherently while Ayeka adjusted herself to Ryoko's weight. She was a lot heavier than she looked and it didn't help that she was also taller.

"I'm terribly sorry, Tenchi." Ayeka said sincerely. "I am not good at putting up with her overbearing attitude."

Ryoko slumped and almost slid out of Ayeka's grip. The princess grunted and balanced herself again. Tenchi tried to think of something to say but couldn't. Washu noticed and filled in for him.

"Just try not to do it again." Washu advised.

"Agreed." Tenchi said.

"Honestly, I think you'd be all fought out by now, you know?" Washu added.

Ayeka didn't look pleased with that answer. Washu and Tenchi hadn't really expected her to. She wasted no time with dragging Ryoko back. When she was out of earshot, Washu slapped Tenchi on the back.

"You owe me some DNA." Washu said, while checking her dirty nails. "Both for that and putting out the fire you inadvertently caused."

"I need a break." Tenchi admitted.

"I think we all do." Washu said.

**X**

Ayeka didn't sleep at all that night. She was far to busy thinking and couldn't manage to shut her mind off so she could get some rest. Lying in bed made her feel worse as she was so restless. Ayeka sighed and decided to do something about it. She sat up and looked over at Sasami, who was sleeping peacefully with a content smile on her face.

"Doughnuts." Sasami muttered.

Ayeka smiled at that random comment. The princess silently got out of bed and stood up, stretching as she did. After that, she put on an outdoor kimono and a pair of sandals. She then carefully exited the room so she wouldn't disturb Sasami. It was time for another one of her evening walks that she took once in a while in secret just so she could get away from everyone and think. Ayeka had to be cautious, though. Sometimes Ryoko was up this late at night doing whatever it was that she pleased. Ayeka had always been lucky enough to avoid her. It always made her wonder, though. Perhaps Ryoko could sense Ayeka skulking about in the shadows but chose not to interfere out of respect. Maybe she was capable of being that courteous.

Ayeka made no noise as she walked down the hallway and descended the stairs to the first floor. The TV was on in the living room. It was currently displaying the DVD players screen saver. The logo of the manufacturer bounced on the corners of the screen, changing colors as they did so. Ryoko was sitting on the couch with a bunch of cookies in her lap and a large glass of purified spring water. She looked pissed. It probably had something to do with being knocked out a few hours earlier. Ayeka looked around for a dark corner to mold into, but couldn't find one. She couldn't sit here and wait and going out the front door wasn't an option either as Ryoko might hear her. The only exit she could take was in the kitchen.

Ayeka made her way into the kitchen, telling herself to remain calm. Her heart was beating quickly against her chest, which she found rather unusual. It wasn't like she was risking her life or anything. The instant she stepped inside the kitchen, she heard Ryoko approaching the room from the corner entrance. If she turned on the light then Ayeka wouldn't have a place to hide. All she could do was huddle underneath a counter and hold her breath. Ryoko stomped toward the refrigerator and opened it up, placing the cookies back inside it. She didn't bother turning on the light as it was bright enough in the room for her to move around without bumping into anything.

"How much of your body is made of plastic?" Ryoko said, mocking Ayeka's tone of voice.

The princess gritted her teeth together. Was she being called out? Ryoko grabbed a bottle of booze and examined it, noticing that only enough liquor remained for one more drink. She chugged it, tossed it into a nearby trash can with enough force to break it, and walked directly past Ayeka.

"Plastic!" Ryoko said before leaving the kitchen.

Just like Ayeka, Ryoko had a hard time with letting things go. As there was no booze in the fridge, Ryoko headed into the storage room. She was going to raid the bar. Ayeka sighed in relief and hurried outside, making sure to close the door behind her. And just like that, her mind was finally at ease. She spent about twenty minutes wandering around a safe distance away from the house until she sat down in front of the nearby pond.

A gentle breeze was blowing through the area. The moon was out. It shined through the clouds that passed it. Ayeka began thinking again. During the fight that had taken place earlier, Ayeka's main goal was to knock out Ryoko, which accomplished. To channel enough energy to do this, she allowed herself to think of all the pain she felt when Ryoko criticized her looks, all the worry she felt whenever she saw Tenchi and Ryoko together, and all the fear she went through during the night when thoughts of her never being with Tenchi attacked her. Typical angst.

She could still feel all the pain inside of her along with a faint desire to get rid of Ryoko forever by any means necessary. Ayeka had come close to doing just that. The space pirate had accidentally given Ayeka an advantage that only measured up to a fraction of an inch when she became distracted by the smell of fire when they arrived in Tenchi's room, but that little mistake had given Ayeka the upper hand for the conclusion of the battle. She launched a bolt of energy directly beneath Ryoko's breasts that was powerful enough to launch her out of the window. At first she thought that Ryoko had been killed by that.

Luckily, that didn't do the trick. Ayeka summoned as much of her power as she could safely handle and prepared to launch a finishing attack that she didn't wind up using. Tenchi's interference complicated the situation greatly. Ayeka calmed down and decided she had done enough damage. After the incident, both her and Tenchi informed Katsuhito of the whole affair. There was a heavy air of annoyance about the shinto priest as if he wanted to scream that this had all happened before and needed to stop happening before it drove everyone mad. Nobuyuki was quite upset that the house had been damaged again, but quickly cooled off once Katsuhito began helping him think up some tricky way to explain the whole incident.

Because it was rather cold outside, Tenchi was sleeping in one of the new bedrooms downstairs until a new window was put in. Ayeka sighed and allowed herself a brief break before continuing her thoughts. Tenchi seemed to be growing closer to Ryoko ever since that nasty collar business. Ayeka knew she needed to make a move to let him know she still was there. She had always kept Tenchi's best interests in mind and wanted him to do whatever made him happy. That mentality made it hard for her to accept how he could stand Ryoko. Perhaps it was Ryoko's rebellious personality that attracted him and even though she was foul at times, she could be very sweet when she wanted to be. This was such a tricky problem. She'd been trying to figure it out for months and still hadn't arrived at any conclusions.

"Ryoko, you are right." Ayeka whispered to herself. "What will I do if Tenchi chooses you?"

She sighed again. At the very least, being in this situation and having to deal with Ryoko was gradually making her a stronger person so she wouldn't walk away with nothing when this was all over. Furthermore, Ayeka had always believed that life had a bad habit of changing and there was no use crying if things looked bad or took a turn for the worse. The only thing she could do about it was live. Eventually something would happen in her favor. Those were only some of the philosophies she had adopted to deal with Ryoko. Ayeka stood up slowly, suddenly feeling tired. She wasn't quite ready to go back inside with all this on her mind so she chose to continue walking while making it a point to clear her mind. About twenty minutes later all she could think about was how pretty the evening was and how good sleeping would feel once she got back into bed.


	2. No Need For Packing

**Chapter #2: No Need For Packing.**

Tenchi was up before his alarm clock went off. He didn't bother trying to get more sleep as he was already wide awake. Then again, he had been that way for most of the night. He reached over and switched off his alarm. After that, he rolled over on his back and scanned the room for Ryoko. After being unable to see her head poking out of something, he sighed in relief. Sometimes she watched him while he slept, but today was different. That habit bothered him immensely, even though he had only caught her doing it three times. As far as he knew, she still looked in on him occasionally. Thankfully she was usually quiet enough to not disturb him

He found himself thinking of the events that had transpired during the previous evening. The way Ayeka had won against Ryoko wasn't typical of their repetitive conflicts and how badly Ryoko had been injured from both the fall and taking a bolt of energy directly beneath her chest was unsettling. Usually the fights between those two ended in exhaustion, but this time it had ended with injury. Washu took Ryoko to her lab for examination and had her strip down to her undergarments. Mihoshi had also been present at the time and was kicked out when she started pointing to certain parts of Ryoko's body and asking what was what. Her naive questions about Ryoko, which consisted primarily of how she could stand up straight with breasts so large, were not received well.

Washu found a large bruise on Ryoko's back and minor burns decorated her whole body. A bright red circle formed where the ball of heat had hit her. She also had received several cuts from the broken glass. Other than that and a couple of other minor injuries, Ryoko was fine. Washu was relieved to see that none of her wounds were very serious. She healed all of them quickly. Washu gave Ryoko a special blue salve to rub on the burn beneath her chest. The cream made the embarrassing scar disappear overnight.

Only one section of Katsuhito's office had been damaged. The repairs would probably take two weeks if they worked quickly. It wasn't as complicated as trying to save the royal family of Jerai, but that didn't stop it from being a bother. Tenchi threw back the covers of his bed and stood to stretch. He knew it was yet another day in the Masaki home and something was going to happen sooner or later that would make things interesting. That couldn't be avoided. He heard the sound of two people playing pool nearby and went out to investigate. Ryoko was standing in a corner a few feet from the table. She had dressed differently today and was holding a silver cue stick over her shoulder.

She was wearing a pair of jeans and a white T Shirt with socks covering her feet. It wasn't the typical Japanese kimono he was used to seeing, but it still looked good. Then again, no matter how she dressed herself or how her hair was, Ryoko always seemed to look good. The same went for Ayeka. They were lucky to have figures like that. Sasami appeared to be Ryoko's opponent for the current game and was carefully aiming for the eight ball. Tenchi blinked to make sure he was seeing correctly. Sasami had never really played the game before and yet she was still winning against Ryoko, who was probably quite familiar with pool.

Sasami hit the cue ball smoothly and it sailed toward the eight ball, neatly knocking it into the side pocket she was aiming for. Just like that, she had effectively beat Ryoko at the game by a wide margin. There were about three solids left on the table. Sasami had been playing as stripes. Tenchi remained unnoticed and waited to observe what would happen next. Ryoko wasn't very good at losing a game decently, even if she happened to play poorly most of the time. Instead of flipping out, Ryoko merely closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. Sasami looked worried.

"Very good." Ryoko congratulated her.

"Was I not supposed to beat you?" Sasami asked. "Please don't get angry."

"Don't worry about that, I. . .wait a second. Get angry?" Ryoko asked, shocked. "What gave you that indication?"

"Well, I kind of sort of read your police report when I was bored one evening." Sasami began explaining.

"You got that from Kiyone, didn't you?" Ryoko asked, narrowing her eyes.

Sasami nodded.

"Were you impressed?"

"Impressed? More like horrified!" Sasami admitted. "It's a good thing you've changed, Ryoko. Otherwise, you wouldn't be so easy to hang around with."

"Oh, that depends on who you ask." Ryoko said stubbornly, checking her nails. "But when have I ever gotten angry with you?"

"You haven't." Sasami said.

"Then why were you afraid that I'd be mad at you for winning?"

"Because of the claims several casino's filed against you."

Ryoko chuckled a little, remembering some of the more frightening times when she lost her temper gambling. One of them included ripping a Kino wheel off of a wall just so she could take something away from her loss. When security tried to stop her, she pushed past them while ignoring all their threats. Things looked good until they discovered she was _that _Ryoko. After that, she was forced to use _her _Kino wheel to deflect all the gunshots. When her makeshift shield began to fail, she rolled it towards her pursuers and took out a couple of them. Shortly after that she slipped out and sped away in Ryo-Ohki, but not before taking away more money than she had legally won to compensate for the "emotional damage" the institution had caused her.

Those were the days. Ryoko sighed wistfully.

"Don't worry about it, Sasami." Ryoko advised. "Losing is a part of life and I guess I have to get use to it."

Sasami didn't say anything, but she expected more of an answer. Ryoko rolled her eyes and gave one.

"I should learn to lose so I don't rip all the sinks out of the girl's bathroom because I bet on the wrong number during a game of roulette."

Sasami's expression didn't change.

". . .shortly before I run off with a bag of stolen money and a couple of sinks because they have diamonds in them _and _just so happen to have been hand cut out of obsidian." Ryoko finished quickly.

Sasami smiled and nodded.

"There. I said it." Ryoko stated. "Do you want to play another game?"

"Yeah." Sasami said.

"Then rack up the balls like I showed you and this time I get first shot."

Ryoko helped Sasami gather the balls out of the pocket. She rolled the balls Sasami missed as the young princess began arranging them carefully. Ryoko stood at the other end of the table and Sasami rolled her the cue ball. As she was aiming for a good break, Ayeka appeared and stood at the other end of the table across from Ryoko.

"Sasami, why are you around Ryoko?" Ayeka demanded evenly.

"I was teaching her how to lie, but we decided to quit early and play a game of pool." Ryoko muttered. "Isn't that right, Sasami?"

"Shh!" Sasami whispered desperately. "She might take you seriously!"

"Sasami, is it true? Is Ryoko teaching you how to lie?" Ayeka asked.

"No, of course not!" Sasami said honestly.

Ayeka blinked, somewhat doubtful. Ryoko nearly grinned ear to ear.

"It's the truth!" Sasami insisted.

"I'm just joking." Ryoko said while chuckling. "Think about it for a minute, Ayeka. Do you really think I could corrupt Sasami even if I tried?"

Sasami waited eagerly for Ayeka's answer.

"No, I suppose you couldn't."

Sasami sighed in relief. Ryoko aimed low on the cue ball and hit it with enough force to send it sailing right for Ayeka's chest. Ayeka prepared to catch the ball but an inch before it got within her grasp; Katsuhito grabbed it out of the air and gently placed it on the table. Everyone gasped at once in admiration of his speed and the fact that they had failed to notice him enter the room. He slowly looked over at Ryoko, silently demanding an explanation. Ryoko walked over to Sasami, still managing to keep a smile on her face.

"Sasami, that's not how we hit the cue ball, okay?" Ryoko explained. She then slapped Sasami on the back a few times. "So don't you do that!"

"What are you talking about?" Sasami asked in an unsteady tone since Ryoko's nervous blows took the air out of her.

"Play along!" Ryoko growled.

"Yeah!" Sasami stated timidly. "How about that, huh? Can't win a match with moves like those, now can we?"

"Nope!" Ryoko answered.

Tenchi felt the situation getting thicker and decided to intervene before things got out of hand.

"Good morning!" Tenchi boomed, walking into the room. "Let's try to keep it that way, right guys?"

Everyone looked at him as he entered the game room. He expected a greeting, but nobody said anything. Tenchi became confused. Ryoko had a smug expression on her face, Ayeka was blushing deep red, Sasami was covering her eyes with one hand, and Katsuhito was looking old, which was nothing new to him. That's when Tenchi realized that he was only wearing boxers. He turned around and quickly ambled back toward the spare room and dove into the available wardrobe, all the while muttering to himself that they all had overreacted. Tenchi found a pair of pants and slipped them on. He then walked back into the game room just as Katsuhito cleared his throat to get everyone's attention.

"Ryoko, what do you think will happen if you do something like that again?" Katsuhito asked dangerously.

"You'll take out my knee cap?" Ryoko said while poking her forefingers together timidly.

He chose not to answer. That would intimidate her and keep her quiet. Damn, was he ever good at doing stuff like that. Katsuhito turned his attention to Sasami.

"Did you make breakfast today, Sasami?"

"Yes, but I put it in the refrigerator. I got up early this morning so that I could make it and play pool."

"I see." Katsuhito said while nodding to himself.

Katsuhito turned to leave but just before he did, the shinto priest faced the group once more.

"I almost forgot. I have an announcement to make." he said lightly. "I think that it's about time we have another vacation. Maybe we should go camping. I know of a campsite that's only a few hours away that is supposed to be really nice. Tell me how you feel about the idea a little later."

"But what about the shrine repairs?" Ayeka asked.

"Washu finished them already." Katsuhito said while leaving. "I chose not to ask how."

"I wouldn't have either." Ryoko said to herself.

Tenchi thought over Katsuhito's proposal. It sounded fun enough. He'd have a few days in the middle of nature with nothing to bother him except for. . .Ryoko. Suddenly the camping idea didn't sound as appealing as it had before he considered her. He could already hear her telling him that it was time to get back to nature by opening up an age old instinct. What better place to do it than in the seclusion of a forest? It was so natural.

"Camping?" Ryoko said in a disgusted tone, bringing the topic at hand. "Yuck. Sleep amongst the slugs? No thanks."

Apparently Tenchi had read her wrong. One possible way to seduce him was gone, but there had to be many others that he had not even begun to consider. Sometimes he wished she was more predictable like Ayeka or Sasami. They both were probably intrigued by the idea.

"I think it sounds kind of fun." Sasami offered honestly.

"It most certainly does." Ayeka agreed.

_I'm so good, _Tenchi thought sarcastically, which was exactly what Ryoko was thinking because she had thought the same thing about those two.

"I thought we were playing pool, Sasami." Ryoko said.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot. Go ahead and shoot, I'm ready."

Ryoko took aim and hit the cue ball hard, sending it straight for the cluster of balls. The contact emitted a loud crack, causing them all to scatter violently. She managed to sink two solids during the break. She nodded her head at Sasami, letting her know the game was on. Ryoko aligned her next shot. Ayeka watched her as she did so and smiled when she came up with a way to distract Ryoko.

"Ryoko, do you remember what happened during our last family trip?"

She completely missed the ball and scratched the felt of the table. Sasami began trembling violently.

"I do." Sasami said in a tiny voice.

"Ancient history, Ayeka." Ryoko snapped.

"Let's see, that was right after Tenchi managed to defeat Kagato."

"Oh, no!" Sasami wailed, remembering what had happened. Tears began to form in her eyes. "That was on intergalactic television. They had to censor our faces to hide our identities."

Everyone stood silent, recalling the terrible event. Sasami was taking the memory badly, probably because of the fact that she had been traumatized for about two weeks after it had occurred.

"It wasn't my fault." Ryoko said as she hit the cue ball, knocking a solid into the middle pocket on the right hand side. "I stood up and asked. Nobody said a word. Things just kind of took off from there, I guess you could say."

"Common sense should have dictated that you would have done better to rethink your decision before actually going through with it." Ayeka retorted.

"Whoopsies." Ryoko said innocently. "I think Tenchi might have enjoyed it."

"I can't remember a single time in my life when I was more afraid of anything else." Tenchi muttered darkly. "Let's just forget about it. Somehow we all managed to get away with it."

"But what an adventure it was. . ." Ryoko said happily.

"It was not!" Sasami insisted, crying softly. "Why did I have to go ahead first?"

"Because nobody else would have fit in there." Ryoko said.

She sighed, knelt down, and gave Sasami a hug.

"Just be glad it's all over, alright?" Ryoko said. "And it certainly will never happen again."

"Especially now that there's a federal law against it." Ayeka mumbled.

"It was illegal to begin with." Sasami added a little more calmly. "Just not on that level."

"The issue at hand here. . ." Tenchi inserted loudly before dropping his tone to a normal level. "Is whether or not to go camping. I can't imagine how we managed to stir up that old coal. Anyway, I have to agree with Ayeka and Sasami. It sounds like it might be fun."

"So long as a certain someone behaves." Ayeka said, smiling.

"I can only give you so much rope before I run out, Ayeka." Ryoko threatened.

"Come on, Ayeka. Ryoko's a little bit better now." Sasami said. "I'm sure she'll be good. Right?"

She smiled and tried putting on a face Ryoko couldn't resist, which was a wasted effort. Ryoko wasn't easily swayed by bribes of that caliber. In fact, Ryoko hadn't even begun to think of causing any mischief. It mostly came to her through improvisation. She wouldn't tell them that, though.

"Some people wouldn't mind or be so concerned with my behavior, Sasami." Ryoko said, knocking another solid in. "Try to keep that in mind."

Ayeka opened her mouth to counter that but Ryoko whirled around and raised a finger in warning.

"Don't." Ryoko said simply.

The princess closed her mouth tightly and glared at Ryoko, who realized that the vote was now three to one against her. They'd probably wind up taking her even if she didn't want to go, but asking otherwise wouldn't hurt.

"If you guys go, can I just stay here?" Ryoko asked.

"You must be joking!" Ayeka declared.

"I don't think so." Tenchi said in the nicest way he could.

"What's the matter? You two don't trust me enough to watch over the house while everyone else is gone?

"No, I didn't say that." Tenchi explained carefully.

She sighed.

"Fine, whatever. Tenchi, do you really think this is a nice idea? It doesn't sound very fun to me." Ryoko said.

"I'm sure it would be a nice experience."

"If that's how you really feel about it, then I guess I'll go as well." Ryoko concluded.

"Hook, line and sinker." Sasami said to herself, rolling her eyes.

Tenchi blinked and looked over at Sasami, surprised at her sudden show of caustic wit.

"Well, I'm glad that's settled." Tenchi said. "I guess I'll go let grandpa know what we think about his idea."

When Tenchi left, the atmosphere in the room was still tense, but neither Ayeka or Ryoko made a move while Sasami continued the game of pool. During that game some of the very best glares were exchanged between the two enemies while Sasami stood in the midst of it all feeling as though she was walking on egg shells and hoping this little contest between her sister and Ryoko wouldn't end in violence.

**X**

After everyone had agreed on going camping, they spent a week gathering a lot of necessary supplies. On the evening before the departure, Katsuhito instructed everyone to begin packing their own possessions. Due to the limited space of Nobuyuki's van after packing what really mattered, only one backpack per person was allowed. Katsuhito suggested bringing along two extra sets of clothing and whatever miscellaneous items they usually used for entertainment. The site where Katsuhito intended to take them was about two hours away. He claimed it would be a peaceful place that they would enjoy thoroughly so long as they chose to view it that way. Tenchi thought the trip might have something to do with his training in meditation. So far it had been going well. If he could get into the correct state of mind, nothing troubled him. This allowed him to think rationally and calmly about issues that normally bothered him, which was highly useful. Katsuhito claimed that he could do it all the time, which wasn't surprising. Tenchi wasn't quite at that level yet and could only concentrate seriously when he was in the proper mood.

Whether or not the trip had anything to do with his never-ending abundance of lessons hardly mattered at the moment. Tenchi was figuring out what he wanted to bring along. So far he had picked out some clothing that breathed well and fit loose. He was the last family member to go through this process. Even Ryoko had finished packing before he had started. She had stuffed so many things into her backpack that the fabric was tearing and some of her personal effects were nearly bursting out of the pack. Ryoko managed to fit about three packs worth of stuff into the one she had been given. Half of her bag was full of clothes that she had managed to meticulously fold into their smallest possible size.

For the purpose of entertainment she was taking along a few books and a Gameboy Advance SP. She wasn't willing to find out how long she could last without some of the comforts of home at her disposal. Unfortunately for Ryo-Ohki, Ryoko was also bringing along the small wet suit she used whenever she felt like fishing at the expense of her pet. Tenchi saw her use it more than once and giving her a lecture on how cruel it was didn't stop her from doing it. As for Ayeka and Sasami, they both carefully picked out clothing that would help them blend in with the colors of the forest. They figured this would make them appear more attractive. Tenchi thought it was a waste of time.

Kiyone and Mihoshi were probably not going to be able to come along due to their jobs. They both had already doubled up on the regular amount of sick day's and they could not afford to miss work again unless they got permission from their boss, which would take a miracle. If they could manage to join the fun, they would come along in their own car. Well, it actually wasn't so much theirs as it was Kiyone's since she knew that if Mihoshi drove it the vehicle wouldn't last very long. If there was someone who had a real problem about going along, it was Washu. Tenchi had spoken with the scientist earlier, who stated that she would rather not go along with them as she saw a bloody mess at the end of the whole trip and it just happened to be her. After a little persuasion the greatest scientific genius in the universe had been swayed under one condition: She would set up camp one mile south of where Katsuhito decided to pitch.

The equipment she was taking along with her was highly interesting. Washu owned one of those special backpacks that defied the laws of physics. It allowed her to store an unlimited amount of junk in a slice of infinite space that was reserved for the survival supplies and whatever else she wanted to stuff it with. She didn't feel like sharing with anyone, which was good because it forced Ryoko to pack only what she couldn't leave behind. One item Washu was bringing along with her was a TV that had the ability to tune in whatever channel was requested of it regardless of whether the station was available on Earth or not. In addition to running on a limitless energy cell, it was also programmed with an advanced AI that allowed it to communicate. She was bringing two since she figured Ryoko would need one to keep herself occupied.

Washu was also supplying the tents, which she had constructed herself. They functioned a lot like an inflatable raft. Normally they resembled a small pillow with a ripcord, but while in use they were veritable shelters. Looks could be deceiving. Washu had personally tested them to ensure they would be comfortable and protective. That meant nothing to anyone else but her. They usually gave her the benefit of the doubt, though. Once Tenchi had finished packing all of his personal items, he headed outside toward the van so he could throw his backpack in with the rest. Ryoko was already doing the same thing and appeared to be having some trouble. Her pack had been stretched to twice it's original size and was tearing in several places. The Gameboy she packed slid out from one of the holes as she forced her pack to fit, but Ryoko caught it just before it hit the ground. She wasn't feeling daring enough to unzip the pack so she slid the portable gaming system into the same hole it had fallen out of.

"Are you okay?" Tenchi asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

Ryoko nodded without looking at him, still trying to shove her pack in.

"It doesn't look like there's any room left at all." Tenchi said.

"Very good observation, Tenchi." Ryoko muttered.

"Let me see if I can get it to fit in with the rest." Tenchi offered.

Ryoko stepped aside and handed him her pack. He hadn't expected it to be quite so heavy. Tenchi faltered and dropped the bag, which slammed into the dirt with enough force to leave an impression. Tenchi let the pack sink deeper into the dirt while he examined the cargo area of the van. All the satchels and containers were laid out in such a way that suggested they had simply been thrown in at random, hence the reason Ryoko couldn't find a spot for her pack. Tenchi began arranging everything in a more organized fashion.

"Nice evening, isn't it?" Ryoko asked him.

"Sort of." Tenchi responded. "Are you excited about the trip?"

"Oh, I'm thrilled." Ryoko said sarcastically. "At least it's something new."

"Well, I can't argue with that." Tenchi said.

Tenchi lined up all the bags and stuck Ryoko's alongside his. He nodded, pleased with the result and closed the cargo door.

"I'm slightly worried. I hope there aren't any rowdy campers around when we arrive." She looked at him, seeing that she had caught his interest.

"Why? Because they attract wild animals?"

"Well, usually they're the first to die in a bear attack, but if you ever watch the late show, you know what I'm talking about." Ryoko explained. "Mostly they're college students with to much time on their hands. Kind of like us."

"True. Well, we'd better go get some rest. We leave tomorrow, after all." Tenchi said.

"Sure." Ryoko said, smiling slightly. "No staying up late for me tonight. And just you watch. No matter how much sleep I get, I still won't be awake in the morning."

"At least you're trying."

Ryoko smiled slightly and then teleported out of the area. Before heading inside, Tenchi made sure that all the doors on the van were locked. Like Ryoko, he was going to try and get plenty of rest before the trip so he retired early that night. Just out of curiosity, he silently checked in on Ryoko before he went to bed. She was already asleep.

**X**

"Wakie wakie, sleepy head!" a highly irritating voice boomed and repeated, digging itself into a deeper grave as it did.

Ryoko's fist came down hard on the alarm clock because it woke her up so early, even though she had set it to do that. The enthusiastic voice was cut off in the middle of its glee and fell to the floor, broken in many places. At least it died happy. Besides, it was nothing that Washu couldn't fix. This device known as an alarm clock had rarely been used by Ryoko, who had to carefully read the instruction booklet in order to grasp a full understanding of its chronological purposes. If she had known this particular model talked when it rang she wouldn't have bought it. At least it wasn't a major loss. She groaned painfully, trying to fight off the sweet temptation to sleep an extra twenty minutes.

It took a lot of will power to get out of bed, but she managed. Ryoko stumbled toward her closet, where she quickly retrieved some conventional clothing she'd set out the other evening before going to bed. She found herself thinking about Tenchi as she dressed. So far things were looking good for her. That's how she saw the situation. It was important to keep a positive outlook on fragile matters such as a relationship. She still wanted to hear Tenchi express his feelings for her just so her assumptions could be confirmed and they could hopefully move on to the next step. Yesterday she had planned on luring him into that touchy topic, but ultimately decided against it. The moment didn't feel quite right and she wasn't desperate enough to risk upsetting him. Some things just took time. Bank heists and safe cracking came to mind, but those were well in the past and nearly out of her everyday life, although Ryoko liked remembering them and mentally going over the necessary steps for carrying out such activities.

In any case, her goal was so close and yet so far away. Ryoko thought it was horribly stereotypical. Realizing that these thoughts would spawn into about five hours worth of soul searching, she pulled the plug before her introspection got out of hand. The moment she did, Sasami entered the room. Ryoko was in the process of putting her shirt on and wondering why it had suddenly gotten so tight. She made a note to cut back on cookies for the next two weeks.

"You're ten minutes late, Ryoko." Sasami said.

"Crap, I must have forgotten to adjust for daylight savings time."

"Ryoko, that's an _American _practice." Sasami said slowly, rolling her eyes. "Besides, if that were the case, you'd be over an hour late."

"I'm almost done." Ryoko insisted, finally managing to get her shirt on properly.

She had dressed in a pair of cut-off jeans with a dark green shirt. Ryoko fished through her drawers and snatched three bracelets which she snapped around her right wrist for the sake of adding some attractive accessories.

"Does this look alright?" Ryoko asked Sasami, giving her a basic pose.

"It might upset Ayeka." Sasami said bluntly, referring to the tight shirt. "Let's go. If you're still tired, you should be able to sleep along the way."

Ryoko and Sasami hurried to the van outside. Sasami stopped to lock the front entrance of the house as well as the gate. As Ryoko was approaching the van, the door to the back seat swung open. Tenchi was holding it open for her. Her initial joy of being able to sit with him throughout the duration of the trip was cut short when she saw Ayeka on the other side of him. Ryoko didn't let her disappointment show and briefly admired the strategic value of this set-up. Having Tenchi directly in-between her and Ayeka would decrease the chance of a fight, as they usually didn't prefer to get Tenchi involved. He was the only exception. They didn't bother considering anyone or anything else.

Ayeka was reading _Dating For Complete Idiot's _andappeared rather bored with the guide. Ryoko blinked, rubbed her eyes, and looked again. She clearly remembered burning that book. Nobuyuki had probably bought another copy. Ryoko got inside the van, appreciating the leg room she soon discovered. The van wasn't as cramped as it appeared to be on the outside. Sasami got in through a different door and sat directly in front of Ryoko. Washu was beside her, snoozing with Ryo-Ohki on her lap. Katsuhito and Nobuyuki were in the front seat. Nobuyuki was at the wheel while Katsuhito was there to give directions. All of them were dressed more suitably for hiking than Ryoko was. After noticing this, she wished she would have packed differently.

"All aboard that's coming aboard?" Nobuyuki asked, grinning at his weak humor.

Katsuhito turned around and counted everyone. He gave Nobuyuki a nod. The van started and they were off. It was odd how quickly some things got rolling when the preparations were so time consuming. Besides Mihoshi and Kiyone, the only other two family members absent from the vehicle were Azaka and Kamidake. Both versions of them. They were staying behind to guard the house. Ryoko snickered at the thought of some thief breaking in with them on duty. The beating they'd bestow on the poor fool would be truly epic.

An array of small talk commenced, but Ryoko didn't say anything. She began searching her clothes for her Gameboy Advance when she suddenly realized that not only did her clothes _not _have pockets, she'd packed the portable game player in the storage area, which was quite full at the moment. She was directly behind the bundle of backpacks, so she reached around and quickly found hers. Ryoko easily pulled the Gameboy out of the torn slit it had fallen from the other evening. She knew the holes would come in handy. Inside the cartridge bay was Breath Of Fire 2, an oldy but goody she'd never managed to beat. She quickly became absorbed in saving the world while everyone else socialized.

**End of Chapter #2**


	3. No Need For Entertainment

**Chapter #3: No Need For Entertainment!**

Nobody really noticed how long it took to arrive at the camping site, and nobody cared. When they finally did get there, everyone who was awake got out of the van and stretched. Tenchi had fallen asleep sometime during the trip, and Ayeka took it upon herself to wake him up. Ryoko was far too captivated in Breath of Fire 2 to notice that she had just missed an opportunity to touch Tenchi legitimately. Currently she had a vise grip on the controller and her palms were so sweaty that they had probably eaten off some of the paint on the back. She was looking intensely at the tiny screen with her teeth clenched as she tried to beat the final boss ten levels below the recommended limit.

Ayeka exited the vehicle right behind Tenchi, who was rubbing at his eyes and still trying to wake up. He walked around to the door closest to Ryoko and gave it a knock to snap her out of her trance. This simple action had a horrible reaction. For Ryoko, not being in contact with the world for about three hours and then suddenly being brought back into it was like getting tossed into a swimming pool that had a temperature of about twenty degrees below zero. She reacted accordingly by jerking violently and dropping her Gameboy to the floor. It landed on its back with a loud thump. The pretty colors the screen had been displaying distorted briefly before turning into a blue screen of death.

Ryoko gasped and grabbed the device, switching it on and off and waiting for the load screen to pop up. It did, but all her game data had been erased. She swallowed the knot in her throat and suppressed the scream of anguish she wanted to let lose. Her head slumped forward and landed softly on the seat in front of her. Ryoko tossed the Gameboy over her shoulder carelessly. It landed on one of the backpacks and slid off the surface, crashing into the steel floor beneath the packs. Thirty two hours of gaming had just been lost due to a wake up call and there was absolutely nothing she could do to retrieve the data.

"I wanna go home." Ryoko groaned.

Tenchi opened the door next to her.

"Did that erase your data?" Tenchi asked.

Ryoko nodded.

"I don't know what to say other than I know how aggravating that can be." Tenchi said.

"Oh, well." Ryoko lamented. "Maybe I can get Sasami to play up to the point where I was at."

Tenchi stood aside as Ryoko hopped out of the car and began surveying the scene. The area they were in was quite pretty. There was a large clearing with an old brick building that probably had the bathrooms and showers inside of it. Two moveable picnic tables were also in the general area. Other than that there were trees, trees, more trees, and a dirt path leading somewhere surrounded by a bunch of larger trees. No doubt about it, this area was heavily forested. More so than back home. The paths were beaten and composed of upturned soil. They were nearly unmistakable, so getting lost while following them would be quite a challenge.

Ryoko headed for the building in which the toilets and showers were located. Ayeka tagged along at a distance as did Sasami. Nobody could blame them. The door opened with a heavy squeak. Ryoko stood in a small room full of nothing but cold concrete. There were two doors on either side of her. When she opened the door on her left, she walked into a pitch black room. She switched on a nearby light and lit up the restroom. Everything was in stalls. Best of all, it didn't stink to much and it looked as though it had been kept in pretty decent shape.

Sasami wandered in and tried the sinks. A loud rumbling noise emitted from the pipes and there was a moment's delay before clear water came from the faucet. The water in all the toilets was dirty, but that was probably because they hadn't been used in a great while. Ayeka began flushing them all as Ryoko examined the other room. She had to search for a light again. When the area was illuminated, she noticed that there weren't any windows in this building. That was probably to discourage the campers from being perverts. There were a total of three showers and a large stone counter Ryoko assumed was used to hold clothing until after the person was done bathing. It currently played host to a variety of dead insects. Tucked away in a corner at the far side of the room opposite the showers was a coin operated washer and dryer. Much like everything else in the building, it looked old but useable.

Ryoko inspected the showers further. Each one had an entrance with a curtain. Ryoko stepped inside and saw the actual shower head and temperature knobs a few paces ahead of her. The head wasn't easily adjustable and didn't have any spray settings. The shower floor was stone and had a large drain. There was also a light covered in a protective plastic barrier on the ceiling of the shower. The switch for it must have been elsewhere. She stepped out of the shower and startled Ayeka and Sasami.

"Are the showers bearable?" Ayeka asked.

"See for yourself." Ryoko responded. "I think they're alright."

"It's kind of cold in here." Sasami said.

"That unfortunately can't be helped."

"Is that a washer and dryer?" Sasami asked brightly, pointing to them while at the same time completely forgetting the slight chill that hung in the air.

"It looks like we won't need to worry about wearing dirty clothes." Ayeka thought aloud.

"There's also a store and a lodge a couple miles north." Tenchi said as he entered the room.

"A lodge?" Ryoko asked, shocked. "How come we aren't staying at the lodge?"

"Good question." Tenchi said, sighing. "But at least this way we're closer to nature. I think it'll be nicer."

"That's what a balcony is for, Tenchi." Ryoko said.

"Oh, come on, Ryoko." Sasami urged. "Remember, Washu is providing the tents so I'm sure they'll be very comfortable."

"Yeah, I guess you're right about that." Ryoko agreed.

"Of course she is!" Washu announced brightly.

She had to nudge Tenchi aside to enter the room.

"They're super durable and extra comfortable and coincidentally, I'm about to set them up so let's all go see, alright?"

"So you can gloat?" Ryoko said.

"Please! I deserve to." Washu asserted arrogantly.

"Is anybody else out there?" Sasami called, noticing how everyone was pouring in.

"Nope, just me!" Nobuyuki called from the bathroom.

A toilet flushed. Ryoko looked at Tenchi, Tenchi looked at Ayeka, Ayeka looked at Sasami, and Washu had a hand covering her eyes while she grimaced. Everyone exited the building. Washu ran back to the van to retrieve her super tents while the others began sitting down at the picnic tables. Washu pulled out her distinctive purple backpack and unzipped the only sealable portion. Unlike most packs, Washu's only had one place to stuff her belongings into. That's all it really needed, anyway. She knelt down on her knees and rolled up her sleeves as everyone watched her out of curiosity. Washu took a deep breath and reached inside the bag with one arm very carefully. She used her other arm to steady the one doing the searching. Washu fished around for several minutes until she pulled out one of the tents. After a moment she took out another.

"She's being awfully careful with that thing." Sasami thought aloud.

"You know why that is, don't you?" Ryoko asked, grinning. Sasami shook her head. "It's because Washu could very well fall inside that paradox she created."

"So if Mihoshi found it and wasn't careful. . ." Sasami began.

"She would more than likely be floating around in a vortex of infinite space." Ryoko finished.

"That's cool!" Sasami declared.

"A little disturbing, if you ask me." Ayeka muttered.

"Agreed." Tenchi said.

Washu took the two square pillows and laid them out perfectly adjacent to each other. Once that was finished, she pulled both of their ripcords and scurried back a safe distance. Instead of inflating slowly they exploded into a full shape, sending stray twigs and leaves flying everywhere. One of them momentarily became airborne. Washu was the only one who didn't jump at that. The peculiar tents were light blue and in a perfect dome shape. The fabric was thick enough to prevent anyone from seeing what was going on inside. They seemed to be bolted into place the moment they finished imploding and didn't even budge when the wind blew against them. Each one had a large zipper door a few inches above the ground.

While Washu pulled some sleeping bags out of her backpack, Ryoko approached one of the tens, unzipped it, and crawled inside. She was courteous enough to take her shoes off first. The atmosphere inside the tent was different from the feeling outside of it. Obviously Washu had implemented some automated climate control device somewhere inside the tent. Whereas it was slightly humid outside, inside it felt like a breezy day in the middle of spring. It even smelled like one. The tent had plenty of space, as well. Additionally, it didn't look like any bugs would be able to work there way through the shell unless they got in through the door when it was already open.

That satisfied one of Ryoko's concerns. Now she wouldn't have to worry about ants crawling down her pants or waking up covered in mosquito bites. Ryoko noticed that the tent was sturdy enough to withstand assaults from bears or drunken campers. It was probably very hard to cut. Washu didn't miss a trick. Finally, the floor was soft like a bed. She couldn't feel the ground at all. All of this was quite pleasing. Washu tossed in some sleeping bags which seemed to be made out of the same material as the tent. So far so good. Now all Ryoko needed to do was keep a ho-hum mentality and not suddenly fall into a must-harm-Ayeka mood.

Ryoko crawled out of the tent. Washu stood proudly in front of her with her arms folded across her chest. A twisted smirk was on her face as she tried to restrain her glee.

"Go ahead, Washu." Ryoko said blandly. "Say it."

"I am such a genius!" Washu shouted.

"Alright, everyone. Come on out, now." Katsuhito instructed.

Anyone inside of a tent immediately exited it both out of fear and respect. Katsuhito kneeled down and picked up a stick.

"I will only say this once." Katsuhito began.

He drew a crude picture in the dirt of the two tents beside each other. He scratched the word "women" in the dirt next to the tent on the right. Katsuhito scribbled "men" near the one on the left.

"The men will sleep in one tent while the women will sleep in the other tent. It would be a wonderful thing if this rule wasn't violated. Right?"

He briefly glanced over at Ryoko, who folded her arms across her chest and rolled her eyes. Tenchi sighed in relief. Ryoko took this momentary defeat in stride, considering why exactly it had occurred. She had done nothing to earn Katsuhito's trust, whereas Ayeka and the others were in good with him. Even Washu had some leverage when dealing with him, although she lost a great deal of it when he learned about Locke. Still, it was better than what Ryoko had. She made a mental note of this and decided to dwell on it a little later.

Of course, winning trust would entail being nice to Ayeka, and that thought would have quickly driven her into depression if she didn't immediately remove it from her mind.

"There will also be no foul play of any kind. Being naive about it will not be an excuse. Everybody here is old enough to know the difference between right and wrong except for maybe Nobuyuki." Katsuhito joked.

Nobody laughed.

"What?" Katsuhito asked. "That wasn't funny? I thought it was."

"Humor is a hard thing to convey." Ayeka said.

"Especially when you're not funny." Ryoko muttered. She caught herself and choked. "I mean, isn't there a lake around here?" she asked excitedly.

"Alright!" Washu interjected suddenly. "I see where this is going now and I think it's about time for me to leave before all the fun starts. Just exactly what time is it?"

Nobuyuki checked his watch.

"Quarter after four."

"Well what do you know; it is time for me to leave!" Washu said sarcastically. She then looked at Katsuhito. "I will be about a mile south of here, where I should be safe from any of the commotion that may occur. Don't worry about sending someone out to check up on me, I'll provide for myself. And if you hear any explosions, I'm fine. It's happened before; I know how to deal with it."

"Just to be sure you're safe I'd like you to report back every night if you can find the time to do so." Katsuhito requested. "I want to be sure that you haven't been attacked by a bear."

"Or a drunken camper." Ryoko added suddenly.

"A what? Don't be ridiculous." Washu snapped.

"Hey, I saw stuff like that on the late show. A camping trip like this isn't exactly a walk through the daisies. I know what dangers Ryoko's talking about." Nobuyuki stated, trying to support Ryoko, who merely gave him a glare that would make anyone take a step back.

"Anyway, I see your point, Katsuhito. I'll come back once a night." Washu assured him.

With that having been said, she didn't bother wasting any more time. She zipped up her special backpack and began heading south down an unmarked path. While walking away, she waved in a parting gesture.

"Bye, Little Washu!" Sasami shouted.

"Watch out for that nasty poison ivy when whipping! If it doesn't shine, you won't whine!" Nobuyuki warned.

Sweat drops appeared on all those present that sadly heard what Tenchi's father had cautioned.

"And be extra careful! You never know what could be lurking around in the woods. Watch out for things like Ryoko!" Ayeka said. She narrowed her gaze at the space pirate. "Or a drunken camper, but I guess there's little difference between the two."

"Say what?" Ryoko asked dangerously.

Washu picked up her pace from a nice little walk to a nervous dash. In her mind she knew that _it _had just started. What that _it _was could not be explained in words. The bitterness and hatred Ryoko and Ayeka harbored for each other was eternal. They were like two chemicals that would never mix well and no matter what was done to alter the formula, they would always explode when combined together. That's how Washu chose to think of it. Ryoko looked at Ayeka with her fists clenched together tightly. Ayeka gave the pirate a superior expression along with a smile. Tenchi looked at the two women and began breathing heavily. He was about to say something, but Sasami grabbed his shirt and held him still. She also shook her head and waved her other hand in a frantic gesture silently urging him not to interfere.

It then occurred to him that this might be how the rest of the trip would go. After that thought sunk in, so did the fact that Washu was camping separately. Nobody was going to bother her. He remembered that Washu had always kind of liked him. Maybe as a worthy guinea pig and nothing more, but that was okay. Perhaps she would let him camp with her. It was worth a shot. Tenchi desperately jogged after Washu, who was almost out of view.

"Wait!" Tenchi shouted. "Let me come with you!"

"No way!" Washu yelled back. "You're Ryoko bait, and I don't want any of that!"

"That's not funny!" Tenchi yelled.

He stopped pursuing her, feeling very bitter about what she had said to him.

"This is no way to start a week of relaxation." Katsuhito said calmly. "We're all friends here, right?" his tone once again was calm, but it held danger underneath.

Ayeka nodded with a sigh. Ryoko eased up a bit and dropped the thought of fighting a winning battle with the princess. They both faced each other, trying to stand up as straight as possible to appear domineering.

"Yeah, friends." Ryoko said lightly.

The space pirate extended a hand for Ayeka to shake.

"All I want to do is relax." Ayeka stated strongly.

"For the first time, I couldn't agree more." Ryoko said.

She grabbed Ryoko's hand, clutched it hard, and shook it fiercely three times. Neither of them let go so they both shook again. After a third time they finally separated so fiercely that their palms popped.

"Alright, everyone." Katsuhito announced to bring everyone's attention back to him. "Let's get our gear out of the van. You're free to explore the area for the time being, but don't wander off to far. We'll be going hiking shortly after we get situated."

Ayeka and Sasami went back into the girls' tent and began arranging the sleeping bags while Ryoko fetched her backpack as well as Sasami's and the princesses as a gesture of good faith. The guys grabbed their packs after her. It didn't take very long. Only the bare essentials had been packed which led Ryoko to believe that they'd probably be eating fish for the majority of the trip. Sasami had brought some canned food, but there was no telling how long it would hold out. At least the situation wasn't entirely desperate. They could always fill up on supplies at the lodge. Hopefully Katsuhito would allow them to do that. There was no reason why he shouldn't, but sometimes there was no telling with that guy.

Before entering the ladies tent, Ryoko noticed Tenchi pulling out a large cooler. Good. At least she wouldn't be thirsty for a while. If there was a lake nearby, the water would probably be clean enough to drink from if the beverages got tight. Ryoko smirked. She was making plans on how to survive when there was no need to anymore. At least she was getting some practice in if she ever had to do it again. When Ryoko stepped inside the tent, she noted how the beds were set up. Sasami would be sleeping in-between Ayeka and Ryoko.

She probably was hoping to be a moderator. Ayeka noticed Ryoko just in time to catch the bag she threw at her. Ryoko slung Sasami's pack off her shoulders and held it by the strap until the little princess took it from her. Ayeka grinded her teeth together and silently encouraged herself to be extra patient with Ryoko. That was going to wear her out quickly. Ryoko sat down on her sleeping bag and opened up her backpack, momentarily searching through it until she realized how bored she really was.

This sucked. She needed to go exploring. Maybe there was a cave somewhere. Tenchi abruptly stepped inside the tent, causing all the women to jerk in surprise and leap to attention.

"Hi, Tenchi!" they all said at once.

All the girls blinked twice, looked at one another, and then went back to what they were doing. Tenchi approached Ryoko with something in his hands. She didn't notice him right away as she was to busy looking for something in her backpack that she swore was in there. Finally, Ryoko located Ryo Ohki's wet suit and nodded happily. Tenchi touched Ryoko on the shoulder lightly, getting her attention. What he held in his hands was an odd looking gismo that had two antennas sticking out of it. It was dark blue and in the shape of a square. In addition to all the details, there was a blank screen in the middle with a green button below it. Tenchi handed it to Ryoko.

"Washu made this." Tenchi said.

"Is it dangerous?" Ryoko asked instinctively.

"Of course not. . .I hope." Tenchi said. "Washu said it wasn't dangerous."

"Are you sure you can take her word for it?" Ryoko asked, raising one eyebrow.

"She said it's a television. You press the green button to turn it on and then give it voice commands. It will tune in to any channel, so you girls should be able to watch your soaps. Plus, Washu says it follows you around so you're never to far away from it."

Ryoko nodded in approval, taking the device from Tenchi. For a television, it was surprisingly light.

"It's about time she made something that everyone can use. What exactly does she call it?"

"Dr. Spencer." Tenchi responded. "I didn't ask."

Ryoko blinked and looked at the television, wondering how Washu had come up with that name. Unable to find an answer, she simply shrugged and decided to accept it for what it was.

"Well, time to see if Spencer works." Ryoko said, almost to herself.

Ayeka and Sasami sat behind the space pirate, curious to see this device in action. Ryoko hesitated at first, but quickly got over it. She pressed the button and the thing instantly came on. The two little antennas at the top of Skeeter's frame glowed dark red. It then lifted itself out of Ryoko's hands and floated in front of her face. The screen lit up with a happy expression against a white background.

"Please specify a function, mate!" Spencer requested cheerfully. It's voice program made it sound like an Australian.

"How about channel ten?"

"From the same service you use back home, I presume?" Spencer asked.

"Yes."

"Right-O, I'll get right on it."

Spencer's screen displayed a loading bar.

"Searching. Acquiring. Displaying." Spencer said as the bar filled up.

Instantly Ryoko's favorite soap opera, My Bleeding Heart, appeared on the narrow screen. The picture was severally enhanced and made the program look ten times better on Spencer than it did on the big screen at home. Sasami laughed and Ayeka shook her head. Before anyone could say anything, Katsuhito poked his head into the tent.

"So are any of you still interested in that hike I mentioned?"

Tenchi, Ayeka, and Sasami nodded. Ryoko, on the other hand, was lost in her own world. She could hardly wait to see how today's story developed. Far as she knew, Aya had been dumb enough to have sex with several men in a hot tub. She thought the father of the child might be Daisaku, but then again Aya really wanted it to be Eikichi because Aya suspected that Daisaku was also sleeping with her ex friend, Hyatt. This made her a prime candidate for some type of sexually transmitted disease, but she was afraid to run any type of check for one. She mostly told herself the pain she felt was just in her mind. With all the excitement going on in Aya's world, Rei was having far more personally devastating problems. He had been placed in the hospital after a terrible car wreck that was caused by him not paying attention to the road because he was to busy chewing out Kasumi.

After the car wreck, he had sustained a serious injury to his liver and had also landed face first after being thrown from the vehicle. They manage to piece his face back together as best they could using his parents money, but his liver was a more pressing problem. It had to be removed within twenty four hours or he would bleed to death internally. There was one problem with that, though. Tenko, the only physician certified to perform such an operation, had locked himself in the break room so he could privately wallow in self pity while contemplating if he should end his miserable existence with the nearest weapon, which just so happened to be a plastic spoon. All those situations were good on their own, but the most intriguing part of the soap opera had not come up just quite yet.

Ryoko was eagerly anticipating the latest chapter in Yumi's life. She was in high school but was planning on dropping out so she could live with her dream boyfriend in Osaka. The guy had four kids and had been married twice, but he swore that he had now found his soul mate in Yumi. She did nothing but brag about him. Now she was on a plane headed toward Osaka, where she would meet Watanabe and start the rest of her life with him. It was the most awful gut wrenching scenario on the show, but what made it viewable was the lesson a person could learn from watching it.

"Ryoko, did you hear what I just asked?" Katsuhito said.

"I don't think so. There's only one thing that can be done to gain her attention." Ayeka said.

"And what might that be?" Katsuhito asked.

Ayeka smirked.

"Tenchi, how about you and I go on the hike together? Alone."

"Whoa!" Ryoko shouted.

Ryoko was up and in-between Tenchi and the princess before Sasami had a chance to blink at the rush of air that assaulted her eyes. Katsuhito's clothes rippled as the gust blew past him.

"You act like he's all yours. I don't see your name on him." Ryoko said.

"Is that so? Funny, I don't recall seeing the chicken scribbles that make up your name anywhere on him." Ayeka pointed out evenly.

"Check his right sock." Ryoko instructed.

Ayeka and Tenchi both blinked. He rolled up his pants, took off his right shoe, and examined the sock he had on. Sure enough, Ryoko's name was stamped on it in red ink. Ayeka fumed and Tenchi gazed at the letters in disbelief.

"Now that's spooky." Sasami said.

"How did that get there?" Tenchi asked, but his question was ignored.

"The ink isn't even fresh." Sasami said. "She must have done that a long time ago. Then again, I guess you don't really look at your socks all that often when you put them on, huh? I probably wouldn't have noticed it either."

"So, Ryoko. . .will you be joining us on the hike?"

Ryoko looked at Spencer, who was still hovering above the ground and displaying the soap opera. She then looked at Ayeka and Tenchi, who would have a chance to bond if she wasn't around.

"If you'd like, I can offer a suggestion." Spencer asked. "I recommend the exercise."

"Are you saying I'm fat?" Ryoko asked.

"No, not at all! It's always right and good to have a nice fit body though, eh?" Spencer said nervously.

"You'd better turn yourself off." Ryoko warned.

"Okay." Spencer said timidly.

Spencer abruptly shut off and collapsed to the floor with a loud thump. Ryoko turned to Katsuhito and nodded.

"Let's get going." she said.

_Day One: The Hike._

It was not long afterward that everyone but Washu and Spencer were following Katsuhito on a trail. The Shinto priest held a walking stick in his hand and occasionally used it to point out certain things when he had an interesting explanation for something. For a man that spent most of his day at a shrine, Katsuhito seemed to know quite a bit about nature. Ryoko and Ayeka walked close to Tenchi on either side of him, behaving as they did. Sasami was walking beside her sister while carrying Ryo Ohki on her shoulder so the little animal would not wear itself out. Nobuyuki was just a pace behind the little formation, carrying a backpack that was stuffed with supplies suited for emergencies.

To her surprise, Ryoko found herself actually enjoying the trip. Though not quite as good as watching a marathon of _My Bleeding Heart_, hiking proved to be amusing. They soon came across a lake that was supposedly inhabited by a monster of some sort. A little while later they discovered a cave. Harmless forest animals watched as they passed by. At one point Ayeka noticed a raccoon staring at her from a patch of bushes. Tenchi reached inside his pocket and pulled out a sack of food he had packed just in case such a scenario occurred and handed it to Ayeka. By this time, Ryoko had noticed that the two were having a moment. Just before she was about to break it up, Katsuhito grabbed her shoulder, causing Ryoko to jump in surprise. She smiled nervously, but Katsuhito's placid expression did not change.

Tenchi, Ayeka, and Sasami didn't notice this. Ayeka knelt down and coaxed the creature over with the food. The raccoon hesitantly approached the princess's hand. Once directly in front of it, the animal began eating. After that incident, they continued forward while listening to Katsuhito lecture about nature's beauty. Once they got to a nice spot that had plenty of large rocks, Katsuhito announced that it was time to take a break. Everybody sat down and began resting up. Ryoko wasn't really feeling the hike anymore. Ayeka and Tenchi seemed to be in a mood, and that singled her out. Sasami sat down on the same rock Ryoko had decided to claim. The space pirate looked at her mildly and then returned her gaze to Ayeka and Tenchi, who were engaged in a conversation she chose to tune out.

Ryoko felt a tugging on her shirt and looked down at Sasami, who had large pleading eyes.

"Don't spoil the trip." Sasami begged. "Don't take this the wrong way, but you're going to get Tenchi's undivided attention sooner or later like you always do, right?"

"Maybe." Ryoko answered.

"Remember what you said earlier. You have to take your loses in stride."

"I haven't forgotten about that."

"You just didn't choose to remember it?"

"Exactly."

Ryo Ohki mewed in a worried manner, concerned for her master. Sasami reached into her pocket and pulled out a carrot, feeding it to the animal. That's when Ryoko realized she hadn't had anything to eat for the entire day. Immediately her stomach rebelled harshly. The initial growling was so loud that Sasami figured it was just Ryoko vocalizing her angst over how Ayeka was the one getting attention today. When Sasami heard the growl again, she looked over at Ryoko and realized that the noise had been made from her stomach.

"Are you hungry?" Sasami asked, to which Ryoko nodded. "Nobuyuki brought some food with him."

"What kind?"

"Mostly trail mix, I think. The good stuff is back at the camp."

"Gag." Ryoko said.

"Well, there should be some berries growing around here. If you're that desperate, you could try eating them."

Ryoko scanned the area for berries and found a patch of them not to far away. While they would not completely fill her up, they would show that she knew a fair share about survival skills and camping as well. It might even manage to impress Katsuhito. That's not why she wanted to eat them, though. Ryoko was ravenously hungry, but not to the point where she was starving and would have settled for the trail mix. Then again, maybe it wasn't so much the survival skills Ryoko had as it was the luck she possessed. She chose to use luck in this situation, as she'd never been stranded in a remote area when all she had to eat was whatever grew on a tree. Ryoko had her fair share of natural fruit in restaurants, though.

She knelt down in front of the patch and picked a handful of green berries, which she quickly swallowed. They were horribly sour and not the least bit tasty. Still, they'd tide her over until she got back to the camp. Hopefully. It'd be better if other types of fruit were growing in this forest. Katsuhito gasped sharply, which caused Ryoko to brace in case she needed to run. He was looking right at her, his eyes wide with shock. That wasn't a good sign. She looked at her berries, and then at him.

"Ryoko." Katsuhito said, getting her attention. "Listen to me very carefully and never forget what I am about to say." he held up a finger, closed his eyes, and spoke. "Red is sweet and good to eat, but when they're green they come up mean."

"You mean these are supposed to be tasty?" Ryoko said.

"Only when they're red." Katsuhito repeated.

She dug further into the bushes and found some red berries. Ryoko blinked in surprise. Curious, she picked one and ate it. The berry was sweet and juicy, which was quite a contrast to the green breed. Ryoko swallowed hard and began to wait for the effects of her mistake to happen. For a few minutes, there was no difference. Perhaps she had not eaten enough for something bad to happen. That seemed to be the case until she felt her stomach roll over and curl up into a fetal position.

"Poison berries!" Ryoko groaned in pain, collapsing to the ground. "Oh, my god!"

The pain was incredible. She grabbed her thin stomach and dug her nails into it, trying to drive out the cramps that were torturing her. As she lay on the ground sweating profusely, Ryoko cursed her mistake. Even Ryo Ohki would have been able to know something was wrong just by the taste of the green fruit. Anyone would stop after such a vile taste. But not her. She had to wait until she'd made an ass of herself to learn. Ryoko didn't know what hurt more, the embarrassment or the cramps. Her stomach acid rebelled within her as it mixed with the acid of the berry, causing her to nearly vomit.

Some fluid came up, but she swallowed it right back down, refusing to lose anything in front of the group. But as the warm juice came up the discomfort became even worse. It burned all the way up and left her throat on fire. Her stomach revolted harder, seemingly punishing her for not expelling the mess it contained. Cold sweat emerged all over her body, soaking her shirt right into her skin.

"Oh, god. Oh, god. Oh, god." Ryoko whispered quickly. "Hold it, hold it, hold it."

"At least you're not allergic." Nobuyuki said helpfully. "That would be a real mess, wouldn't it Sasami?"

Sasami gave him a look. Nobuyuki laughed nervously.

"Dad, do you have anything that might help Ryoko out?" Tenchi asked.

"Hmm, let me see."

"Please. Please have something." Ryoko muttered desperately.

At this point Ryoko was frozen in place. She felt that if she moved, her defense would break. Perhaps she should have run off immediately and not have waited until the discomfort became so great. At the moment she felt delicate enough to explode if she breathed wrong. She looked over at Nobuyuki, who pulled three bags of trail mix out of his bag and an apple. An apple. Ryoko would have settled for that. This memory would come back to haunt her the next time she even considered taking Sasami's word for something, no matter how simple it was. Nobuyuki pulled out a few graphic novels and a First-Aid kit. None of that would quench her raging sickness.

She inhaled deeply, knowing she was no longer capable of restraining herself.

"I'll. . .I'll. . .be right back." she grunted in pain. "Wait up for me."

Katsuhito nodded.

"Poison ivy is mighty shiny. . ." Nobuyuki began advising.

"Whatever. . .I think I'm just going to go curl up somewhere next to a tree and die." Ryoko groaned painfully.

She then sped off into the woods. A sweat drop appeared on all those present as they watched her go. Nobody laughed, as doing so would be horribly disrespectful even if it was kind of funny. This became harder to do when they heard her shouting garbled profanity from somewhere nearby. Obviously she hadn't managed to make it out of earshot. Twenty minutes passed before Ryoko stumbled back. Once her presence was made clear, Ryoko put both her hands on her knees and slumped forward. Her face was pale and worn with exhaustion. Sweat caked her body. Her spiky hair was slightly out of place. Katsuhito reached into Nobuyuki's bag, avoided the Hentai manga, and located some water jugs. He took one out and held it in front of Ryoko.

"Get some fluid back into yourself." Katsuhito instructed, tossing her the bottle.

She caught it and drank eagerly, quickly swallowing three huge gulps that amounted to half the bottle. The ice cold water inside the plastic container soothed her sore throat and sent a cool wave through her humid body. Once she finished hydrating herself, Ryoko handed the empty bottle back to Katsuhito and regained her composure.

"I hate camping." she said in a dull tone.

"Mother nature can be tricky, can't she? Do you need to go back to the tent?" he asked her.

"I'm fine. Don't let me slow you down." Ryoko said.

Everyone looked noticeably pleased. At least she had earned back some of the respect she probably had lost due to the mistake she made. Katsuhito offered her his hand, which she took. He helped her up and pulled her in close enough to whisper in her ear.

"Nice save." he said.

"Oh, I try." Ryoko responded.

Katsuhito probably knew why she had eaten the green berries without asking anyone if they were safe or not. Hopefully nobody else was as wise as him. Ryoko chose not to think about it. After all, she made up for the mistake by handling her reaction properly. They continued hiking shortly afterward. Ryoko lagged behind and tried to ignore how dirty she felt. She also didn't want anyone else to pick up the earthly scent she'd acquired rolling around in the dirt in pain while ridding herself of the toxic terror she'd ingested. Ayeka and Tenchi were still chatting with each other, but she was far more concerned with taking a shower at that point.

It was annoying how he always seemed to try and balance each of them out. He'd hang out with her for a while and then run off with Ayeka, just to keep things even. Of course, he never tried conversing with either of them at once. She didn't need to think of the reasons for that. Nobuyuki struck up an intelligent conversation with Sasami as Katsuhito led the group onward. Ryoko was alone. That was alright, though. Ryoko could keep company with herself so long as she wasn't agonizing over romance. Eventually Katsuhito stopped and looked up at the sunset.

"Alright, time to head on back." he stated. "I believe we've had enough fun and exercise for one day."

"It was fun, wasn't it?" Sasami piped in.

"Whew, my legs feel so erect." Nobuyuki said, wiping sweat off his brow. "And my butt is tighter, too!"

"We didn't need to hear that, dad." Tenchi said.

"Meow!" Ryo-Ohki added, using the only word in its vocabulary as it couldn't really say anything else. Normally.

"And one of us learned a very important lesson." Ayeka said, alluding to Ryoko.

"Come over here and say that to me." Ryoko dared.

Ayeka huffed and strode curtly over to Ryoko. Once she got within five feet of the space pirate she recoiled, grabbing the bridge of her nose and coughing violently. Ryoko smiled.

"That rancid stench about you is overpoweringly appalling. You smell like a wet boar!" Ayeka said.

"Yes, well. . .it's better than gunpowder or a load of lotion and perfume." Ryoko mused. "Do you bathe in that stuff, princess?"

"I don't have any of that on now." Ayeka responded.

"I meant usually, not all the time."

"Oh, well in that case I. . ." Ayeka caught herself and stopped being nice. "I think we'll have to burn those clothes of yours."

"That might be the only way to fix the problem, I suppose."

"To do that we need to start heading back to camp." Katsuhito interrupted. "Right, ladies?"

The stare-down they had been having came to an abrupt end. Ayeka and Ryoko nodded curtly. Ryoko returned to her position behind the group and followed everyone back, all the while hoping that the showers had steaming hot water. The trip back didn't seem quite as long as the hike forward. Ryoko began noticing certain landmarks the group had passed on their way up. A funny looking tree, a bunch of green berries lying on the ground, and that damnable raccoon were just some of the highlights they had all encountered earlier. Today had definitely not been her day and she felt as though all the surprises hadn't quite stopped coming yet. If the quality of her experience up to this point had been any indication, things were about to get even trickier.

And they did the moment she arrived back at the campsite. For one, Washu was there. She was probably stealing soda out of the cooler because she had forgotten to bring her own supply. Ryoko would put a quick end to that. The scientist was trying to start up a fire while keeping company with Mihoshi and Kiyone. Ryoko wasn't entirely pleased to see Mihoshi, but Kiyone was alright in moderation. She sighed and headed straight for the showers. Tenchi watched Ryoko go as the character perspective trade-off commenced without flying sparks or dismemberment. Sometimes authors have to exercise great care when performing this feat if they don't want to insert one of those horribly annoying "Later. . ." sequences that take up space.

Tenchi noticed an economy car parked next to the family van and knew inherently that it belonged to the two police officers. It wasn't too terribly fancy, but the paint job was nice and there weren't any dings or dents on it. The car would probably stay that way so long as Kiyone was the one driving it.

"Hey, when did you two get here?" Sasami asked them cheerfully.

"A little while ago. Washu was already here when we arrived." Kiyone answered.

"Stealing _my _damn soda!" Ryoko shouted as she entered the necessities building, adding on to what Kiyone had said.

"So she did notice." Washu said, pulling a can of PeepSee out of her pants pocket and taking a drink from it now that the cat was out of the bag.

"By the way, you guys don't have to worry about sharing anything with us. We brought our own gear."

"It's good that you managed to get some time off at work." Ayeka asked.

"Oh, that. Well, uhh. . .yeah!" Kiyone said nervously, laughing at the end of her sentence.

"But the manager said we were fired." Mihoshi corrected. "Usually that means we never go back to that place again, even if they do have the lowest prices in town."

"Patience. Patience." Kiyone told herself quietly.

"At least you're still Galaxy Police Officers." Sasami said, trying to be helpful. "I thought you had a higher rank. Doesn't that mean you get paid more?"

"Yes, but it's good to be making a lot of money and in order to do that, we have to hold two jobs."

"You have security issues, Kiyone. That's why you can't get a date." Mihoshi chided while winking.

Washu choked on the soda she was drinking and restrained herself from laughing. Ayeka and Sasami were noticeably shocked. Kiyone turned red with embarrassment and anger. She momentarily considered beating Mihoshi, but she remembered how well that had worked in the past so she decided not to exert herself. Washu was still trying to start the fire, getting more and more frustrated as her efforts proved to be in vain. Suddenly the two little Washu-Bots popped up on her shoulder in order to give their verbal support.

"You can do it, Washu!" Bot A announced.

"Nothing to it, Washu!" Bot B added.

"Remember the tents!" Bot-A continued.

"Yes, the glorious tents!" Bot-B agreed.

"Right!" Washu shouted. "I can't let something as simple as starting a fire beat me!"

"Kind of hard to do something without one of your inventions, isn't it?" Mihoshi asked, smiling.

Being patient with Mihoshi was an art that nobody would ever be able to perfect. Ryoko's scream suddenly cut through the night and chilled the blood of everyone who heard it. It wasn't a scream of pain, so nobody bolted to see what was wrong. It was more like a scream of surprise. Still, when that woman screeched you could hear it for miles.

"Kagoto!" Mihoshi shouted, reaching for her gun.

"He's dead!" Kiyone snapped.

"But Ryoko. . ." Mihoshi protested.

"Dead!" Kiyone repeated slowly.

Ryoko came bolting out of the necessities building covered only in a towel and chasing three raccoons, two squirrels, and one very large lizard. She was dripping wet and still had a lot of shampoo in her hair. Enraged, she took aim at the critters and shot some energy beams around them, but not at them. Frying an innocent animal in front of everyone would have gotten them mad at her.

"Who left the door open so all these things could get in?" Ryoko demanded while blasting one of the raccoons over on its side.

Nobody answered and there was no telling who did it, but Ryoko knew it had to have been Mihoshi. Whether or not she was right didn't matter, but someone had been lazy and now others were suffering because of it. She turned her head sharply toward Washu, noticing the scientist was still trying to start a fire. In one fluid motion she took aim and shot a beam right at the pile of sticks Washu had gathered. It ignited fiercely with enough force to blow Washu back and cause a plume of flame to shoot up into the sky. After a moment the blaze calmed down considerably. Now they had a fire.

"Ryo-Ohki!" Ryoko called. "Get over here! I need you to see if there's anymore animals left in this shack!"

The creature jumped off of Sasami's shoulder and quickly ran over to its master. Ryoko slammed the door behind her when the animal had finally rushed inside. Washu sighed and slowly sat up. She wiped off as much dirt as she could while Mihoshi looked hypnotically into the dancing flames. Kiyone held the back of her shirt just in case her partner got to close to the fire. Katsuhito approached Washu while at the same time devoting some of his attention to Mihoshi.

"Okay!" Washu said, turning to Katsuhito. "I didn't have any problems setting up camp and the area I'm in is fairly safe. Or at least it will be. And since I have a pizza in the oven, I better get going."

Washu then made a break for it, chuckling manically. Peace and relaxation were awaiting her. Instead of camping a mile south of the family as she had told Katsuhito, she was actually half a mile to the east. The joke was on them if they actually tried looking for her. Maybe it wasn't smart to lie to Katsuhito, but she really wanted to be alone for once. Back at home no matter how well protected her lab was, they always seemed to find a way to get in. Out here with no idea where to begin looking, they couldn't do that. As half a mile was quite a long way to walk, she'd hidden a small hovercraft in the bushes about two hundred yards away. Even so, that was still quite a long way to run while bubbling over with enthusiasm, but Washu figured she needed the exercise.

"Hey!" Sasami called.

Washu stopped in her tracks and groaned in frustration. She slowly turned around and faced Sasami.

"Could you please stay a little while longer?" Sasami asked.

"Yeah, we brought some marshmallows with us so we could roast them. Well, maybe Kiyone won't because she's on a diet." Mihoshi said.

Kiyone bit her bottom lip so hard she drew blood. Washu sighed and nodded reluctantly. She could sacrifice more of her patience for the sake of Sasami's enjoyment. Maybe that would bring her some good karma. Then again, Washu already had plenty of karma. It just had a bad habit of not coming back to her. Kiyone retrieved the marshmallows from the trunk of her car and tossed them over to Tenchi. She then took out a handful of pikes which she personally distributed. Eventually everyone was gathered around the fire engaged in this activity. That included Ryoko, who joined a little later but didn't bother eating because her stomach was still slightly upset.

For once, there was a general atmosphere of unity among the peculiar group. Such instances occurred rarely, if at all. They didn't last long, though. Washu guarded her emotions carefully, being sure not to fall into a false sense of security. It was only a matter of time before something bad happened.

"Well, this is all very fun, but I feel as though there's something missing." Nobuyuki said.

Washu sighed. Trouble would soon emerge.

"Like what?" Ryoko asked evenly.

"Oh, you know." Nobuyuki said, expecting Ryoko to pick up where he left off.

"I do?"

"Yeah. A scary story. Right?" Nobuyuki asked. "I thought that's what people do at campfires. They tell spooky stories."

"Hmm." Ryoko mused.

"A scary story? That would be Ryoko in the morning." Mihoshi declared, laughing at her own joke.

If Mihoshi clearly understood the extent or her stupidity, Ryoko would have attacked her right then and there. But as her foolishness could be considered a threat to her immediate health, Ryoko concluded that Mihoshi was already hurting herself just by being so idiotic. There was no point in harming her because of that fact. Physically, at least. That gave Ryoko an idea.

"Well, Mihoshi. . ." Ryoko began. "I suppose if given the benefit of the doubt, you are right in that respect. However, don't bask in your happiness for to long or the Woods Demon might get you."

Tenchi rolled his eyes. Ayeka sighed. Washu buried her head in her hands. Kiyone looked away from the family. Nobuyuki ate his twentieth fried marshmallow. Katsuhito was almost asleep. Ryo-Ohki _was _asleep. Sasami smiled and eagerly waited for Ryoko to continue. Mihoshi almost pissed herself.

"Woods Demon?" Mihoshi asked.

"Yes. The very same creature that has been plaguing this area for more than five hundred years."

The tale of the Woods Demon was an elaborate and inaccurate account of a Ronin who encountered a mysterious fox while searching for his dead master around the area they were all camping in. Unlike most fox demons of Japanese folklore, this one was highly psychotic and transformed into the worst fear of whoever it encountered. In the case of the Ronin, the fox took the form of the ninja who had killed his master. That same ninja had almost managed to kill the Ronin as well, but she escaped from the battle severally wounded. Why he was looking for his master in a forest and other gaping plot holes were not covered by Ryoko. Neither was her cultural insensitivity. The story concluded with the fox killing the Ronin and eating his body, which allowed it to consume the dead warriors' soul.

Throughout history the fox appeared again and again, killing its victims using the same technique. Nobody was really impressed with her story, but she didn't care because Mihoshi bought every single second of it. Ryoko wasn't sure if Mihoshi understood the concept of payback, but she still felt satisfied having instilled fear into someone that had insulted her. Everyone knew it, too. After Ryoko had finished her story, Kiyone immediately began comforting Mihoshi.

"Now you know that story isn't true, right?" Kiyone asked sternly.

"Oh, of course it's not, Kiyone!" Mihoshi said. "Ronin's aren't a part of Japanese history anyway."

**X**

Ryoko woke up feeling quite hungry. It seemed as though the effects of those damnable poison berries had completely worn off and now she was starving. Her stomach growled loud enough to make Ayeka stir, which made Ryoko smirk slightly. As she became more alert, Ryoko tried figuring out what she wanted to eat. She wasn't in the mood for marshmallows. No, Ryoko wanted meat. Hopefully the convenience store was still open so she could get some jerky. If not, she would take some anyway. In fact, Ryoko hoped they weren't open because then she wouldn't have to pay. Stealing the food would be a piece of cake. Having thought that, Ryoko was now also hungry for some sweets.

She silently slid out of her sleeping bag. Ryoko neglected to put on shoes and was about to unzip the tent and leave when she heard someone slinking around outside. The sound stopped the second she became alert.

"Kagato?" Ryoko whispered to herself. "No, don't be stupid, Ryoko. Come on."

Ryoko didn't feel like taking chances. Her little food run would have to wait until she found out who was wandering around when everyone else was asleep. If it was Washu stealing soda again, Ryoko was going to instill a beat down and innocently claim she thought the scientist might have been a bear. A little bear. Yes, she'd add in that last bit just to irk Washu further. Then again, if the lurking terror was actually a larger animal, Ryoko would probably leave it alone unless it was breaking something. It might be another camper who was trying to rob them of something. Whatever it was, Ryoko wasn't getting any closer to finding out just by standing in the tent amongst two sleeping princesses. She counted to thirty and unzipped the tent, focusing intently on remaining silent.

The night air was relatively cool and a full moon was out, rendering many possible shadows useless. Ryoko quickly stalked over to where she heard the noises and felt a presence ahead of her. She left the campsite and wandered into the forest. Whatever or whoever it was had to be heading out of the area by now, but her curiosity was not satisfied. It was instead rewarded with a rather loud snap and the sensation of being hoisted into the air. For a moment Ryoko didn't know what was going on. The shock made it hard for her to concentrate. When she finally snapped out of it, she was dangling from a rope around her foot about twenty feet in the air with a very bad muscle pull.

It caused quite a bit of discomfort, but Ryoko ignored it and instead tried figuring out how she was going to get down from this thing and kill whoever set it up. The rope was abruptly loosened and Ryoko found herself plummeting toward the ground. At the last minute the rope became tight and tore her injured muscle even more. Whoever had caught her had just checked to see what had stumbled into their trap. This person was soon going to scream in agony.

"Woods Demon!" a familiar voice declared.

That wasn't quite what Ryoko had in mind. Mihoshi was behind all this. Before Ryoko could react by losing her temper, the Galaxy Police officer placed something cold against Ryoko's belly. Instantly more electricity than the shock collar could have handled passed through her body. Why exactly her life was so shocking as of late Ryoko could only chalk up to bad luck.

"Mihoshi!" Ryoko yelled. "It's me! Ryoko!"

"And thus I face my worst fear, the space pirate Ryoko! That's a cheap trick, Woods Demon, but you won't fool me! I am a Galaxy Police officer! I've dealt with worse scum than you!"

"You're dead!" Ryoko snarled at Mihoshi. "Dead!"

Suddenly her electrocution stopped and Ryoko heard the sound of multiple people approaching them. It must have been the others.

"Mihoshi!" Tenchi chided. "What are you doing?"

"I caught the Woods Demon." Mihoshi declared.

"You caught Ryoko." Sasami announced, but she checked just to make sure.

"Close enough." Ayeka interjected.

"But don't you remember what Ryoko was saying? The Woods Demon turns into what you fear the most so it can eat you? Maybe what we all fear more than anything else is Ryoko!"

"Good point." Ayeka said.

"I've always been terrified of her!" Mihoshi admitted.

"There is. . ." Kiyone began patiently. That didn't last long. "There is no such thing as a Woods Demon, Mihoshi! You didn't catch a demon, you caught a human!"

"This is all rather hilarious." Ayeka said to herself. "Did anybody else see this coming?"

"Sort of." Katsuhito admitted.

Tenchi wormed his way to the front of the crowd and knelt down in front of Ryoko.

"Are you hurt?" he asked.

"I'm fine." Ryoko said. "My right leg has a bad pull, but other than that I didn't break anything."

"I'll get you out of this. But only under one condition."

She looked at him attentively.

"Don't kill Mihoshi." Tenchi requested.

"Whatever." Ryoko said indifferently, rolling her eyes.

Tenchi carefully undid the loop around her right ankle. The moment she was released and on her feet she began limping towards Mihoshi with her energy blade drawn.

"You said. . ." Sasami began.

"I'm not going to kill her. I'm going to bring her within an inch of death!" Ryoko said.

She took a swing at Mihoshi, but the police officer ducked out of the blade's reach just in time and retreated, screaming in terror. Kiyone, who was standing right next to Mihoshi, quickly ducked under Ryoko's deadly arc and covered her head with her hands as the space pirates overemphasized attack came to an unbalanced end. Ryoko took a deep breath and regained her balance before charging after Mihoshi. As Mihoshi ran like a ditz even though she had years of academy training, Ryoko had no problem catching up to her even with a bad leg. As Ryoko was closing the gap just enough to allow her to attack again, Mihoshi noticed and took a sharp turn to the left. It happened so quickly that it surprised Ryoko, who didn't turn and instead kept running forward.

After a few more steps she stepped on some soft ground that immediately fell out from under her. Ryoko spiraled into an awaiting pit trap. She landed poorly on her right knee and held back a scream of agony as she collapsed face first into a puddle of horribly smelly mud. Now she had two wounds instead of one and the second felt even more painful. Other than mud the pit was littered with poison ivy, stink weed, chiggers, dry dirt, potentially lethal mushrooms that reeked, and a piece of wood with a kanji seal painted on it. Ryoko's anger momentarily subsided as she painfully rolled over and examined her wounded limb. Her knee was already swelling up quite fiercely. It looked like a bad sprain.

Ryoko looked up and saw Mihoshi peering over the edge of the hole fearfully. She gritted her teeth so hard they cracked and her jaw popped.

"You want a Woods Demon?" Ryoko asked viciously. "Get down here and I'll give you a Woods Demon!"

More people began to appear above her. Ryoko sighed and looked down at the mud, breathing as little as possibly because she smelled so horrible.

"I found a rope!" Sasami announced.

"Then throw it down here!" Ryoko ordered.

"Are you going to stop chasing after Mihoshi?" Katsuhito asked.

"I can't very well do that with a bad sprain and a muscle pull, can I?" Ryoko asked.

They had to think about that for a moment.

"You could fly." Tenchi said.

"I suppose I could." Ryoko admitted.

"Then don't fly after Mihoshi." Nobuyuki said.

"Don't crawl after her either." Katsuhito added.

"Or launch energy bolts." Sasami said.

"No. . .no, please do." Kiyone mumbled before leaving the scene.

"Fine, I'll leave her alone! Just get me out of this smelly hole! It reeks like a backed up portable bathroom down here!"

"Wait, if she could fly out of there then why are we throwing her a rope?" Ayeka asked.

Again, the group paused to think the problem over while Ryoko felt something spiky crawl into her pants. She quickly pulled out a very large beetle which she crushed in her hand after it bit her.

"We're using the rope because her leg is hurt." Tenchi explained to Ayeka.

"Yes, I know. But if we use the rope and we have to drag her up the side of the pit, then her leg will be constantly agitated by the friction."

"Ohhh. . ." everyone said.

"That's thinking smart, Ayeka." Nobuyuki said.

"Good job, sis." Sasami congratulated.

"Ryoko, we think you should just fly up here." Tenchi called down to her.

She was no longer in the pit.

"I'm here!" Ryoko said.

Everyone looked up. She was hovering a couple feet above them. Ryoko settled down near Mihoshi, who cringed in fear and didn't bother moving because she wasn't certain Ryoko was being honest with them about not chasing after her.

"You're my crutch." Ryoko said in a tone that left no room for an argument.

Ryoko threw one arm around Mihoshi and intentionally put all her weight on the simpleton. Mihoshi bore it quite well, gradually realizing the enormity of her mistake.

"Back to the camp, you ignorant whelp." Ryoko ordered.

"Yes, ma'am." Mihoshi said, her eyes filling with tears.

"Nobuyuki, go start up the van. We need to go get Washu." Katsuhito instructed.

"Sure thing."

"Mihoshi. . ." Katsuhito said. "Did you set any other traps?" he asked slowly.

Mihoshi looked at her fingers and silently counted two traps. She shook her head and counted again. This time she came up with three, but then after another count she came up with two. On the sixth attempt she came up with six but then rounded it off to three. Mihoshi gasped and nodded at Katsuhito. As if on cue they all heard Kiyone screaming from somewhere nearby.

**End of Chapter 3.**


	4. No Need For Boredom

**Chapter #4: No Need For Boredom.**

The look on Washu's face when she saw Katsuhito walk into her secret tent was priceless. So was that of all the captive animals that were soon set free. How exactly he managed to find her was none of her concern, apparently. Katsuhito inherently knew that Washu hadn't set up camp where she claimed to have. He was disturbingly good at stuff like that. Washu was whisked to the troubled camp scene with a bag full of medical supplies five minutes after they freed Kiyone from the trap she had sprung. Her arm was broken in one spot. Thankfully it was a clean break so nothing to drastic had to be done. Washu treated the injury like an expert, setting it in a tight splint and giving her some unusual pills that would heal her at twice the normal rate.

Apparently it wasn't an official medical medicine but Washu had found it, tested it, and made the stuff better. Kiyone hesitated at first, but Washu assured her that taking the medication was completely safe and the side effects were nominal, although several golden hamsters during the initial testing were stricken blind. Of course, Washu didn't let Kiyone in on that little secret. Once Kiyone had popped one of the pills and subsequently passed out cold the instant it landed in her stomach, Washu headed for the ladies tent where Ryoko was currently residing. It smelled horrible in there because she hadn't had a chance to wash off all the filth she had acquired.

Mihoshi, on the other hand, was using the showers at the moment. Ryoko had made sure to get as much of the mess off of her and on Mihoshi as she could during their walk back to camp. It looked as though she were groping an unwilling partner. Ryoko was lying down with her eyes closed as Sasami carefully washed her legs so Washu would have a clean area to examine. She motioned for Sasami to leave and then sat down beside Ryoko, carefully regarding her injured knee.

"They said you have a muscle pull and a bad sprain." Washu said. "And they were right. Now this injury can be treated in one of two different ways. One, I can set it in a nice little splint and give you some pills to take. Two, I'll administer a shot of super narcotics into your knee. That's my preference because it'll heal almost instantly. You'll also be my first live subject for this drug."

"I'll take the pills." Ryoko said.

"But it's for science!" Washu claimed.

"So was Locke."

Washu couldn't counter that logic even if she tried, so she switched her tactics up a bit and decided to become deviously persuasive.

"Please?" Washu asked. "It's called Mend and I swear it's totally safe."

"What are the side effects?"

Washu had a "friend" who was not so much of a friend as she was a "partner" that really should have been called an "associate." This "underling" had sent her a sample of the drug for analysis a couple months back. Intrigued by the super medicine, Washu quickly began experimenting with it. Seven rabbits in the first batch of testing became deaf. The second group fared a bit better but became paralyzed beneath wherever they were injected. For Washu, the third time was always the charm as she managed to work out all the kinks in whatever she was playing with by then. This medicine was no exception. When she had finished experimenting with the drug, Washu reluctantly returned it to her colleague who prepared a full case of Mend and sent it to a hospital in Alaska. So far they hadn't bothered using it.

With that in mind, she knew how to answer Ryoko's question.

"There aren't any side-effects to this drug." Washu lied. "You'll be fine."

A brief pause followed as Ryoko considered the two choices.

"I'll take the shot." Ryoko decided. "But only because I want to be walking again real soon."

"Nobody could blame you for that and I promise you won't regret it." Washu assured her, smiling brightly.

Washu reached into her bag and took out a small container, which she opened. Inside was a frozen bottle of eerily blue liquid. She drew fluid from it using a rather sharp needle. Ryoko shuddered uncomfortably. She hated needles. After filling the needle, Washu flicked at its tip a couple of times. Ryoko could feel her fear trying to get the best of her. Her entire body was freezing despite the heat outside. Ryoko looked down at her swollen kneecap and then at the sharp tip of the needle and tried to gauge how much this was going to hurt.

"Close your eyes and count to ten. It'll all be over before then." Washu said gently. "You won't feel a thing."

Ryoko did so. The needle hit her at three. Her scream came at eight. Outside, Ayeka was eating some rice crackers along with Sasami. They jerked when they heard Ryoko's shriek.

"Look Sasami, that brought some animals out." Ayeka said.

Sure enough, some forest critters did come out to investigate. Others fled in terror, especially the birds. Keeping their personal safety in mind, Ayeka and Sasami moved a great distance away from the tent should Ryoko decide to explode in a fit of rage. As for Ryoko, she had only found herself lying on her back while foaming at the mouth twice in her entire life. This added an incident to the occurrence of such a position, which briefly made her consider that she could now think of it in terms of odds. This was unacceptable. In any case, she was currently in an indescribable amount of pain.

Washu was saying something to her, but she couldn't hear any of it. Her ears were ringing to much. Oddly enough, the pain only lasted for about two minutes which felt like twenty for her. The swelling in her knee began to lessen, returning the skin to its original shape. After about ten minutes of sitting in a moderate drug induced stupor, everything started to feel normal again. Washu remained in the tent the whole time, carefully studying Ryoko's reaction to the medicine. It wasn't very reassuring.

Because she was slightly high, her attempts to throttle Washu for lying about how the injection wouldn't hurt failed. Washu watched in amusement as Ryoko tried grabbing at her from the floor without moving anything else but her arm. She could only manage to snatch at the air.

"You said that wouldn't hurt." Ryoko mumbled in a barely audible tone. "Get over here so I can beat the snot out of you for being such a little twit. . .and a liar."

"It would have hurt more if you knew it was going to hurt a lot." Washu said. "Does that make sense?"

"Yes, actually." Ryoko said. "Everything makes sense now."

Butterflies were dancing all around the tent in Ryoko's visual hallucination. The world seemed to feel like one whole being housing thousands of souls. The mysteries of time and space were revealed to her in quick whispers by a snake wearing a blue bandana. In the background, Nagi danced skillfully to a random rap song. That brought Ryoko's attention back to normal. There was no way in hell Nagi would ever dance. Maybe she would if she ever caught Ryoko, but that wasn't going to happen. Even if she did manage to do that, Nagi would have to be in a damn good mood. Almost a pure euphoria. In other words, she'd have to be on drugs. Just like Ryoko.

That's when Ryoko realized what was happening to her and she tried to break free from it, but that only made her head start hurting. All Ryoko could do was embrace the darkness, diving deep into it and passing out in a comatose stupor. She had fallen asleep with her eyes open. Washu reached over and closed them.

"Perfect! It works!" she declared happily.

Ryoko abruptly grabbed Washu by the arm tightly while she still could and held the little scientist in place. Her eyes were narrowed into a deadly glare and Washu would have been afraid if she couldn't clearly tell that Ryoko was still stoned.

"Everyone loves a good pirate song." Ryoko said in a slurred tone. "I swear Washu, when I snap out of this. . ."

She then snorted and made a guttural gurgle as her head slumped off to the side. Ryoko still had a good grip on Washu, who pried the hand off. The space pirate began snoring gently with her eyes still open. Washu closed them again but used a bit more caution. Sighing, she gathered her equipment and stepped outside the tent. Everyone had disappeared. Washu looked around slowly, trying to see where they were hiding or where they might have gone to.

"Is it safe to come out now?" Tenchi asked, poking his head out from a nearby tree.

Washu nodded. Tenchi, Nobuyuki, and Katsuhito slid down the trunk of the tree. Sasami and Ayeka stepped out from behind a large rock. Mihoshi and Kiyone emerged from some nearby bushes.

"Well, that was a close one!" Nobuyuki exclaimed.

"What do you mean?" Washu asked suspiciously.

"We thought we were going to have to scoop you up in a sandwich bag after Ryoko got done with you." Nobuyuki said.

"How thoughtful." Washu responded listlessly. "Well, I'm done here. Let me know if anything else happens. I'm always ready."

She headed over to the back of the family van and popped it open. Inside was her hovercraft. She took it out and started it up, quickly speeding away from what she fondly referred to as the Danger Zone.

_Day Three - Two days after day one._

Ryoko woke up long after everyone else had. She couldn't hear anything outside so she presumed that they had all gone off somewhere without her. Just as well. She could do with being alone for a little while, especially after she woke up as it took her around an hour to adjust. Someone had taken Skeeter. Ryoko stood up easily, her former injury completely healed. On occasion her knee would suddenly become very cold and the drugs still hadn't completely faded from her system yet. Other than that, she was fine. That's why she protected Sasami from a barrage of killer spiders yesterday when the two had gone off together to explore the nearby cave.

Of course, Ryoko was the only one who could see the killer spiders and Sasami didn't bother arguing. The journey inside the cave was an uneventful one. For Sasami. Ryoko kept stringing together sentences that didn't make any sense and blasting stuff at random. Nothing of interest was gained out of their spelunking except for some highly interesting stories from Ryoko about how to properly combat vampire pirates on the way out. Even Ayeka began worrying about Ryoko's current state of mental health. Washu assured them that the drug would eventually run its course. Until then, she'd experience some problems.

When they criticized her for hurting Ryoko, Washu defended herself as she usually did, which was by throwing science and the good of humanity into the debate. In the end, Washu won the argument and Kiyone was very happy with her choice in choosing the pills over the mystery liquid. When Washu reminded her that she hadn't even offered Kiyone any Mend, Kiyone said she wouldn't have taken that option anyway. And so everyone was right, which meant nothing had been settled. Washu had done what she thought was best for Ryoko. Tenchi knew the medicine might have done more harm than good. Kiyone thanked her instincts for being leery of Washu's little games. Sasami just wanted everyone to get along. She had also opted to watch over Ryoko for as long as she was feeling loopy. In fact, she had held Ryoko's hand the entire time the two were in the dull cave. Ryoko didn't remember their trip that way, though. It didn't matter.

Ryoko emerged from the tent and looked up at the sky. It was full of overcast clouds. Hopefully it wouldn't rain.

"Ryoko, you're finally awake." Katsuhito observed.

It defied all her refined senses of perception, but somehow Katsuhito's presence had gone undetected during her initial assumption that she was the only one around the museum. . .camp site. They were camping. Ryoko almost socked herself upside the head. The drugs were really messing with her system. From Katsuhito's tone Ryoko was able to judge that he wanted her to get something done. Currently he was rummaging through the case they'd filled with preservative food. It looked as though they were running out. Sadly, this was due in part to Ryoko's insatiable munchies. Absently she looked down at her stomach and wondered if she'd gained weight during the feeding frenzy she engaged in the other day.

_Damn you, Washu! _Ryoko thought. _How could I have let her trick me so easily? _The scientist had side-stepped the problem of what side-effects would occur in Ryoko after she had been exposed to Mend by blatantly dodging what she deemed Ryoko already knew, which was not what the space pirate had been thinking when she let Washu have her way. Washu merely promised Ryoko nothing terrible would happen to her. Little things like not being able to stop eating rice cakes and octopus balls were not deadly, although they were quite annoying. Thinking about her mistake didn't do anything for her either than fuel her determination to stop trusting certain members of the family. Sasami, Mihoshi, and Washu all ranked highly on her imaginary list.

After thinking through those issues, Ryoko realized that she was hungry. Katsuhito approached her and she put on the most neutral look she could manage. If he was going to boss her around like she knew he was, Katsuhito would meet some resistance depending on how he asked for help.

"Did you sleep well?" Katsuhito asked.

"Why, yes. I slept rather well." she answered, playing his game.

"Good. It's nice to have plenty of rest. You get a lot of energy that way." Katsuhito said, toying with her patience.

"Of course." Ryoko said with a fake smile.

"In a place like the forest, it's good to have an abundance of that. It helps you keep up with things that need to be done. . ." Katsuhito was cut off.

"What do you need?" Ryoko asked, slightly agitated.

"We are out of food." he established.

"You want me to take a trip to the snack shop?"

"No. I was thinking that maybe you could go and catch a few fish."

"Are you getting tired of not having anything elegant to eat out in the wilderness?"

Katsuhito narrowed his eyes at her.

"Being cunning is a good trait to have under the appropriate circumstances."

Ryoko sighed.

"Why are you asking me?"

"Because everyone else is gone. I'm not sure where they went."

"Very well then. I'll go fishing." Ryoko conceded. "But only because I also want something to eat."

Katsuhito's left eye twitched. Ryoko tensed and expected him to attack, but he didn't. Instead he merely nodded and stood waiting for her to leave. She entered the girls' tent and took Ryo-Ohki's diving suit out of her bag. It was packed neatly in its own carrying case. Ryoko suddenly realized that she didn't know where her pet was. Sasami must be keeping it company. Those two were always off somewhere. It was almost like Ryoko no longer owned the thing. However, that could be changed with an extra special carrot. It worked sort of like a whistle. If Ryoko took the vegetable out of the plastic case it was in, Ryo-Ohki would come running no matter how far off it was. Like just about everything else they used that defied common scientific knowledge, Washu was to thank for this. Even though working with carrots wasn't really her thing, she wasn't above creating organic food with special properties. Among them were some ingredients that would stuff a person full quicker, causing them to eat less. Washu soon abandoned that project to develop a more effective way of preserving all the spare plutonium she had lying around her lab.

Ryoko took the covered carrot and placed it in her pocket. She picked up the carrying case for Ryo-Ohki's diving gear and left the tent. Katsuhito was standing right outside of it with a moderately expensive fishing pole that he silently handed to her. Ryoko couldn't remember him packing anything like that, but she was glad to have it anyway. It beat using a stick as it wouldn't break as easily. Whenever Ryoko fished on her own time, she usually wound up using a spare tree limb. Sometimes it would snap in two and then she would have a very hard time catching Ryo-Ohki afterward, who usually tried to wear her out by hiding somewhere underwater until Ryoko became bored and went off to do something else.

She began heading towards the lake while trying very hard not to think of what Tenchi and Ayeka were up to. Ryoko did so by stringing together some random improvised tune inside her head. Eventually she reached the large lake and stood still for a moment, taking in its refined beauty. After finishing with that, she hid the fishing gear and pulled out the carrot that would summon Ryo-Ohki. She broke it in half using her hands and carelessly tossed the two pieces wherever they would fall. Having done this, she sat down beneath a large tree and patiently waited for Ryo-Ohki to appear. Three minutes later Ryo-Ohki skidded to a messy stop next to the two halves of its preferred snack. It instantly began eating the handout in between trying desperately to catch its breath. Ryoko sat silently until her pet was nearly done with the second half. She then snuck up behind it and snatched the animal. Even though it was surprised, it didn't bite since it knew Ryoko's smell. It also had a good idea of what was coming next, which is why it began struggling. Ryo-Ohki's eyes widened at the site of the fishing gear and wet suit.

Ryoko had somewhat perfected the ability to stuff Ryo-Ohki in the suit no matter how hard the thing fought against her. It was truly a sight to behold as it somewhat resembled a yo-yo master doing a ton of tricks in quick succession. Ryoko was so good at this that Ryo-Ohki didn't have time to analyze her technique. It felt as though one moment it was in her hands and the next it was trapped inside the uncomfortable rubber suit. Ryoko took the line of her fishing pole and looped it around a tiny hole at the top of the glass helmet that covered Ryo-Ohki's head. Finally, she strapped a miniature oxygen tank to Ryo-Ohki's back.

This routine had become so common that neither of them needed to exchange instructions. They both knew their role in this little activity so words were unnecessary. Ryoko targeted a random spot and slung the fishing pole over her shoulder with her thumb hovering over the line release. Ryo-Ohki signaled Ryoko that it was ready by tugging on the line. Instantly Ryoko launched the line forward sending it and Ryo-Ohki sailing through the air. A small splash broke from the waters surface when Ryo-Ohki hit it in the cannonball position. Ryoko sat down while her pet stayed above water for a while, swimming around and looking for a decent place to catch fish.

For a while, nothing happened. Birds chirped, insects sang and hardly visible bits of pollen and mildew danced together creating a nightmare for anyone with allergies. It was all very relaxing. Ryoko dozed off with both her hands still holding the pole, although now her grasp was somewhat limp. Ryo-Ohki found this very discouraging when it noticed from across the lake while emerging to scout for a different spot to explore. Once it found a nice spot, it dove under. Not more than five seconds later it jumped about fifth-teen feet in the air, mewing hysterically. Directly beneath it was a very large fish that was about five feet in length. Ryo-Ohki wasn't entirely sure if the fish could eat it, but that provided little to no comfort for the terrified animal. The fact that the fish kept snapping at it didn't help matters. They both hit the water loud enough to stir Ryoko out of her nap. Her attention was fully seized when the fishing line shot out of her hands. It had almost been dragged completed underwater when she dove for it. As she stood up with the pole, she noticed Ryo-Ohki swimming frantically towards her with something rather large behind it. Shortly after she realized her pet was in trouble, it disappeared from view. Ryoko quickly reeled in the line, noticing she was encountering some heavy resistance.

Ryo-Ohki was probably trying to swim in the opposite direction she was reeling. Suddenly the line went limp for about ten seconds before it slowly began drifting towards the shore where Ryoko stood. She walked backwards out of the shin deep water she had dove into and waited patiently for Ryo-Ohki to appear. It finally threw itself halfway on and halfway off the shore. The lower half of its body was still covered in the water. Ryoko set the pole down and ran over to Ryo-Ohki.

"Are you okay?" she asked. "Where's the fish?"

Slowly, Ryo-Ohki turned its head and glowered maliciously at its owner before motioning to its lower half. The fish was there. It had swallowed the pet/spaceship/pet spaceship clear up to its shoulders, but hadn't entirely managed to get its prey down its throat, which was currently being blocked by Ryo-Ohki's feet. The fish eventually suffocated. It took a couple of tugs to dislodge Ryo-Ohki from the gaping maw.

"Good job!" Ryoko congratulated. "This thing is big enough to feed everyone!"

Ryo-Ohki didn't bother replying. Its job was done. It had humiliated itself at the expense of hunger and now it wanted to go home. Ryoko tossed the fish farther on land in case it suddenly revived and decided to slither back into the safety of the lake. Ryoko took Ryo-Ohki's diving suit off and put it back inside the case. She then carried the case, fishing pole, and fish all the way back to camp while Ryo-Ohki ambled gloomily from behind, trying to figure out just how much it'd let Ryoko abuse its abilities before it decided to draw a line. Once Ryoko and Ryo-Ohki got back to camp, everyone but Katsuhito, Tenchi, and Ayeka were already there. And they were eating. Ryoko stood slack-jawed for a moment while she watched them feast. Obviously they had gotten food from the convenience store. Katsuhito suddenly appeared beside her, which startled her considerably.

"You knew!" Ryoko said accusingly. "You knew they were going to go off and buy food like they just went and did!"

"Just went and did?" Katsuhito repeated, blinking.

"And where are Tenchi and I-Ache-Uh?" Ryoko demanded. "You know where they are, don't you?"

"I think fish will taste a lot better than processed meat, don't you?" Katsuhito asked, avoiding her second question. "Besides, I asked Sasami to go to the store earlier to buy some seasoning so she could cook something nice for everyone."

"Now you're ordering her around? And what about my other question?"

"I am most certainly not pushing Sasami around. It was merely a suggestion. Besides, she likes to cook. You know that. Everyone likes eating what she cooks, too. Nobuyuki was the one who bought the junk food. He's impatient, as always."

"Then why did you order me around?"

"I didn't do that, either. You could have gone off and done what you wanted to. I would have been upset, but I doubt I would have absolutely forced you to do what I asked."

"I'll remember that the next time you make a suggestion."

"No, I'm afraid you'll still do it anyway."

"Because you're so persuasive and intimidating, right?"

Katsuhito smiled happily.

"Precisely." he said. "In any case, I always happen to be right. I've never asked someone to do something that didn't benefit them as well. That is how you ask a favor."

"Then do me a favor."

"What's that?"

"Tell me where Tenchi and Ayeka are. . .or you don't get this fish!" Ryoko said.

"That's not a favor. It's extortion."

"It ends with both people being satisfied, though."

"Yes, but to what degree?"

Ryoko leered at him.

"You're absolutely incorrigible. Here, take your damn fish. I'll go look for both of them myself."

"Both of whom?"

"Ayeka and Tenchi!" Ryoko snapped. "They're off together somewhere. . .she's probably gathering flowers with him or something. How boring. Is that his idea of a good time?"

"Gathering flowers?"

"Or throwing a skipping stone at a lake, necking under a tree, talking about their feelings and nature, or anything else that's disgustingly feminine. It's just the type of person Ayeka is!"

"But you're feminine."

"Yes, but to what degree?"

"Now who's being incorrigible?"

A blood vessel in Ryoko's brain exploded.

"It bothers me." Ryoko said.

"That someone would choose a delicate woman over one that likes to party?"

"Did you just say choose?"

"Yes, but I was using a different set of circumstances. I was not referring to either Tenchi or Ayeka. Would you stop and take a look at yourself right now?"

Ryoko halted her jealously and realized just how ridiculous she was acting. It was foolish to get so worked up over Tenchi simply not being near her, but it happened more often than she cared to admit.

"Now do you feel better?" Katsuhito asked.

She nodded. A wave of relief came over her. Now she could think a lot more clearly. Ryoko had forgotten what that felt like after the collar fiasco. However, she was not completely calm. A roaring fire of envy still burned deep within her, keeping her jealousy warm. At least she had it under control.

"It's amazing you managed to catch a fish big enough to feed everyone. I expected you to bring at least ten back, but it looks as though you've caught all ten fish in just this huge one."

"Well, I had some help." Ryoko said, looking at Ryo-Ohki.

It held its head up indifferently and walked over to Sasami.

"Now you can clean them."

"Can't you get Ayeka to do that?"

The thought of a princess working her fingers around fish intestines was almost priceless. Katsuhito didn't seem so eager.

"Fine." Ryoko consented.

"Don't worry, I'll help." Sasami assured, appearing suddenly at Ryoko's side.

Sasami already had the necessary tools to begin the messy operation. Sasami led Ryoko away from the others to a spot with a log and a pile of sticks ready to be lit. She laid out a towel and instructed Ryoko to put the dead fish on it. Ryoko then skinned the fish while Sasami prepared a fire and set a pan over the wood she eventually kindled. It would have been better if they had a more civilized way to cook the fish, but this would work just as well. Sasami's expertise would be severally limited, though. Ryoko didn't think that she could prepare a gourmet meal out in the wild unless she really tried.

That seemed to be the case. Sasami was already adding a couple of ingredients to the pan. While Sasami prepared the pan a bit further, Ryoko cut the fish into halves that could be cooked.

"You should help make these." Sasami said. "We haven't had a chance to practice for a while."

Ryoko thought about it and didn't think she should be allowed to say yes, even though she really wanted to. No matter how hard she tried not to, Ryoko would probably find some way to mess up the meal, even under Sasami's guidance. Perhaps this was because Ryoko had never cooked for herself. During her days as a pirate, most of her meals consisted of food that was ready to eat. On rare occasions she would have to use an alternative such as fishing, but Ryoko went out of her way to avoid situations like that because she knew she couldn't cook. Sasami sensed Ryoko was in deep thought about this problem and smiled slightly as she was amused at Ryoko's reluctance to try.

"Come on, Ryoko." Sasami urged. "At least let me show you how to apply seasoning properly."

"Alright, but only because this is important to me."

"I know you can do this, Ryoko. You just need practice. A lot of practice."

"Maybe I'm cursed." she muttered.

Sasami made some final touches to the pan to ensure it was completely ready to properly cook a slice of fish given the limited conditions. After that, they began frying the fish. Ryoko felt a little silly preparing food outdoors and far away from the appliances she was use to, such as a stove or toaster oven. It took a while, but the two of them worked hard at it. Ryoko was concentrating fiercely and desperately hoping this would be her breakthrough. Sasami even seemed to be confident about this, although she didn't dare to mention that she was literally holding Ryoko's hand throughout the entire process. Nothing unnoticed went into the pan. Eventually the food was finished and placed inside a plastic container.

When they had packed everything up and cleaned the area they had been working in, both of them returned to the campsite. Ryoko held the container full of fish as the family tents came into view. They soon learned that they had missed an opportunity to go swimming, which didn't bother either of them. Everyone but Nobuyuki was quite hungry and the site of food finally arriving caused their stomachs to grumble with anticipation. Apparently Katsuhito hadn't allowed them to spoil dinner by eating anymore of what Nobuyuki had bought after Sasami and Ryoko had gone off to prepare the fish. Then again, it wasn't like they could even if they tried. Nobuyuki had eaten all of it.

Why Katsuhito had done this perplexed Ryoko, who figured he might be giving her a chance to show off in a dignified fashion. If the meal was anywhere near as good as Sasami managed to make them, Ryoko would be well on her way to being up one over Ayeka and will have satisfied a personal goal. It was almost like he was doing her a favor she hadn't asked for. Was he coming on to her? Unlikely. Ryoko gagged impulsively. Sasami might have talked to him about this, but somehow Ryoko doubted it. Maybe he just knew. Katsuhito was good at things like that. Tenchi and Ayeka were back and sitting together, which caused Ryoko to grit her teeth and roll her eyes.

Perhaps the forest was bringing out something in Ayeka that she failed to see. If she thought about it deeply enough, the forest was like Ayeka in many ways. That could be why Tenchi was around her. It was her element. She really wanted to start asking questions, but chose wisely to refrain from doing so. In time, Ryoko would get a moment alone with him. Acquiring that valuable commodity was a lot harder now that she wasn't trying to seize it aggressively. Maybe it was time for a change, because being passive was getting old.

"I'm glad none of you chose to spoil your dinner." Sasami said to them.

Nobuyuki grinned and said nothing.

"I've made something extra special for tonight with the help of Ryoko."

She should have seen the reaction coming. Sasami immediately regretted crediting Ryoko, but she wasn't the type of person not to acknowledge the help of someone else.

"Uh-buh-wha?" Kiyone babbled incomprehensibly.

"I agree, I'm shocked too!" Mihoshi said, somehow deciphering Kiyone's nonsense words.

Tenchi's stomach still hurt from the noodles Ryoko had made him a week ago. He hadn't gotten the taste out of his mouth quite yet and he wasn't sure he ever would. This meal wasn't something he was looking forward to. He would still eat it out of respect for the effort she put into it. Ryoko deserved that much.

"Now hold on a second." Sasami said, a little bit nervous. "How about we put all of Ryoko's former mistakes behind us and eat this delicious fish."

"Is it delicious?" Tenchi asked.

"It should be."

"Sasami, watch what you say." Ayeka warned, somewhat bored with this scenario.

"I'm sure everyone is still hungry." Sasami continued. "And we all know that the lodge and snack shop don't really serve good food."

"Everything was packaged process food." Ayeka complained.

"And the snacks in the snack shop gave me a tummy ache." Nobuyuki complained. "They were too greasy! Now I know how Ryoko felt when she ate those berries."

"No." Ryoko interjected suddenly, shocked that Nobuyuki would even consider such a thing. "No, you don't."

"So with that in mind, let's try to enjoy this meal we've cooked together." Sasami finished.

She took the container from Ryoko and sat it on the table. Katsuhito passed out paper plates and plastic utensils. Everyone began serving themselves, finding the fish to be exquisitely tasty. The entire time Ryoko kept hoping that nothing bad would come of this. Mihoshi started chocking right after finishing her first serving, but that was only because a bone was stuck in her throat.

**X**

Inside a red tent with a design of a smiling crab sewn into the fabric, a most peculiar individual slept.

"I am the ruler of the galaxy." Washu muttered in her sleep, then continued snoring. "I am the ruler of the galaxy." she repeated.

"Washu!" Sasami called.

Washu awoke, considerably startled.

"Where what who how when?" Washu asked rapidly.

She sneezed. Washu rubbed her nose and snapped her fingers together as Sasami entered the tent, which caused a floating light to turn on. A glazed expression was on her face. Sasami, however, looked quite frightened.

"Does this have anything to do with the Woods Demon?" Washu mumbled.

Sasami shook her head.

"Was Ryoko right about those drunken campers?"

Sasami again shook her head.

"What then?" Washu demanded.

"Ryoko helped cook and now everyone has really bad indigestion." Sasami answered.

The scientist narrowed her eyes at Sasami, which looked quite funny as she was so tired.

"Well, Sasami, what have we learned today?" Washu asked sarcastically. "Do I need to bring the portable stomach pump?"

"I don't know." Sasami said, frightened.

"Pass me the pump."

Washu pointed over to a black case, which Sasami handed to her. Other than the case and a large safe, nothing else was in the tent. Washu probably kept everything she was experimenting with in the safe so she didn't crowd up her tent.

"But Washu, I was there the whole time Ryoko cooked!" Sasami said.

"What did you have to eat?" Washu grumbled.

"Fish."

Washu's eyes bulged out in surprise. Her face went pale.

"What is it?" Sasami asked. "Wait. . .you experimented on the fish in the area, didn't you?"

A grin slowly spread across Washu's face. She nodded slightly.

"That might be the reason everyone's feeling a bit down." Washu said, putting it far to lightly. "Could you pass me the cure. . .wait, no. Forget I said that. Just stay right there, I'll get it."

Washu thrashed out of her sleeping bag and stumbled over to the safe, frantically dialing the combination.

"How long ago has it been since you ate the food?" Washu asked, trying to remain calm.

"Maybe about seven hours."

"And you weren't affected?"

"No. . .I feel just fine."

"Interesting."

Washu grabbed a pen that was on top of the safe and made a quick note on her hand about what Sasami had just said. She then popped open the safe and took out one of the shelves inside. It was full of odd looking vials that didn't appear to have seen the light of day for quite a while. One of them was purplish in color and had T-Virus written across it. Sasami couldn't figure out where she had seen something like that before, but it made her feel very anxious.

"What did you do?" Sasami asked.

"Nothing, nothing at all. Everyone will be just find as soon as I. . .where did I put that antidote?" Washu yelled.

She tossed the shelf idly aside. The T-Virus vial went sailing through the area. Washu totally freaked out when she saw it sailing for Sasami, who efficiently snatched it out of the air and handed it back to Washu. She took the virus back and looked around to see if any of the other vials had shattered, even though it wouldn't have mattered. If anything had broken, they would probably be dead by now. Or worse. All the containers were made out of the same glass that had housed Locke, so only a severe amount of pressure could break them. Still, if Washu wasn't in full panic mode she would have been more careful when sifting through her concoctions.

"Washu, are they going to die?" Sasami demanded. "Did you poison the fish?"

"No!" Washu shouted as she tore her safe apart. "Let's just say that's the last time I try to replicate a failed experiment I read about in another mad scientist's journal! Can we please leave it at that?"

"Washu, is that what you're looking for?" Sasami asked, pointing at something outside of the tent.

Washu turned so quickly she gave herself a whiplash. Standing just outside the light of the tent was a raccoon that had snatched a familiar looking container full of murky black liquid capped with a cork. She dropped the highly expensive microscope she was holding in surprise, hearing it crack audibly when it hit the floor.

"Get him!" Washu ordered Sasami.

The raccoon blinked and quickly scurried off. Sasami sprinted after the animal, pushing herself to the limit. She had a difficult time keeping up with it. The ground wasn't even and there were to many bushes and rocks in her way, but Sasami didn't give up. Not even when it climbed a large tree. She quickly crawled up after it. By the time she reached a branch to secure her grip the animal had already disappeared.

"Sasami!" Washu called from beneath her. "That's the wrong one! I can't find what we need, but the pump should work!"

"Why do things like this always happen as a result of what you tinker with?" Sasami asked.

"Because this world doesn't have enough room to house a genius like me! Get down from there."

"Okay." Sasami said, sliding down the trunk of the tree carefully.

"Take me to the car." Washu instructed the moment Sasami reached the ground.

They both ran off and weren't there to see what happened the moment the curious raccoon took a sip of the juice it had run off with. One would come to expect a slow death as a result of sampling anything from Washu's lab, but what the raccoon had stolen was nothing more than a cup of coffee about a month old that Washu had accidentally mistook for something else. She lost a lot of beverages that way, but she could never be too careful. When Sasami and Washu reached the van, Nobuyuki was in the passengers' seat, completely passed out. He had driven Sasami here earlier and switched seats when he couldn't stay awake anymore. Nobuyuki figured that Washu might be able to drive so he moved his body out of the way so they wouldn't have to when they got back.

His face was deathly pale and had a slight green tint to it. Washu cursed and got into the drivers seat. She checked Nobuyuki's neck to see if he was developing horns and was relieved to discover otherwise. Apparently everyone was still relatively normal, but she didn't know how long that would last. Washu started up the car and drove off back to where the others were. Sasami sat directly behind her with the stomach pump in hand.

"Sasami, listen to me." Washu said frantically. "You're going to have to use the stomach pump on Nobuyuki."

"But Washu, I. . ."

"You have to do it! The sooner we get it out, the better!" Washu yelled, not taking her eyes off the road. "There should be an instruction booklet in that case. Read it and do exactly as it says. You can do this, Sasami."

She opened the case and took out the instruction booklet, which was written entirely in red ink except for a small section in black that advised the reader to play close attention to everything that was written in red. The instructions resembled a sophisticated college textbook that used complex words to disbar anyone who wasn't a stubborn intellect from understanding them. Luckily, Sasami was somewhat of a prodigy. She hooked the device up to Nobuyuki's belly as best she could and then hit the button to start the machine, which was mysteriously labeled as blend. A loud sucking noise filled the vehicle for no more than five seconds. Sasami had expected the operation to last longer than it had. The container filled up with a liquid that resembled what Sasami almost did upon seeing it.

"Good work." Washu said. "Now pop the lid and make sure his kidneys didn't get pulled through."

"Uhh. . .I think he's alright. Look, he's breathing." Sasami offered helpfully. "Why did you bring a stomach pump with you, anyway?"

"Well, you see. . ." Washu began.

"Whew!" Nobuyuki said, starting to wake up. "I'm hungry. I hope there's some fish still left."

_Final Day._

Once Washu finished curing everyone, she was forced to explain herself clearly. This eliminated her ability to produce enough BS to wiggle her way out of the truth. Apparently she had released a chemical into the water that accelerated the evolution of the fishes inside the lake. Most of the sample had mysteriously died, which was when Washu discovered the fundamental mistake the former researcher had made while performing this study. By then it was to late. The only fishes that survived began internally harvesting a toxin that would make them poisonous to eat. This would assure that they would be exempt from the food chain.

Washu wouldn't have even bothered doing this if she had read the entire study first. She figured that it might accelerate the evolution for everything, which would have been an interesting thing to see, but apparently it only worked on fish and nothing else. Still, Washu was far to intrigued to let something like this just pass her by, so she made a note to continue this experiment later on under her own terms. The serum she'd been looking for would stop the side-effects someone would experience after eating the meat. Washu had hoped to find some animals to try it out on, but apparently the damnable stomach pump worked just as well. The reason why Sasami hadn't been affected continued to elude her.

What exactly would happen if someone had the fish in their stomach for more than twenty four hours was something Washu intentionally left out of the discussion. Luckily for her, nobody asked. They probably didn't want to and if they had, Washu would have been in serious trouble. After managing to convince Katsuhito not to punish her for unintentionally harming his family, Washu was free to go without so much as a slap on the wrist. She knew she was stretching the limit here, but Washu cared more about the future of science than she did lesser aspects such as ethics, humanity, and the safety of others. First there had been Locke, and now she had this black spot on her record. At least they didn't turn her in.

Without making a note to be slightly more careful next time, Washu departed and the night ended normally, given the questionable circumstances. Two days passed by without incident. Ryoko kept to herself, Tenchi either went strolling alone or took Ayeka with him, Sasami began playing Breath of Fire 2 for Ryoko, Nobuyuki continued loading up on snacks, and Katsuhito contemplated growing a goatee but thankfully decided against it. Kiyone and Mihoshi remained Kiyone and Mihoshi. It seemed like the worst was behind them as everyone finally began to relax. Washu referred to it as the eye of the storm and didn't bother reminding everyone that it happened at home every so often.

The final day of camping soon fell upon them. It began pleasantly enough for Tenchi, who had a dream completely devoid of any hidden meanings. That meant Ryoko and Ayeka weren't in it. Lately he had been spending time with Ayeka, and they spoke of things he chose not to share with Ryoko. Ayeka was always a bit wiser when it came to certain issues and he didn't have anyone else to turn to. As a result, they bonded. However, Ayeka was a bit distant, as if she suspected he favored Ryoko more, which wasn't necessarily the case. Truthfully, he still wasn't sure and didn't think he'd ever be sure. That's mainly what they talked about when nobody else was around.

Ayeka was both helpful and patient with his concerns. No definitive solution came out of their discussions, but Tenchi felt a lot better after speaking to someone about it. Either way, it was time to balance things out. On this final day, he'd check in with Ryoko as his mind was currently clear and he'd have an easier time dealing with her. He might have made a mistake to have kept his distance from her for so long, but it was good for Ryoko. That initial insatiable love sickness she had felt for him was beginning to fade away. For the first time in months, she'd probably be able to see things clearly. Now he'd see her mostly for who she really was.

The only thing that would complicate matters at this point would be the ever present rivalry between Ayeka and Ryoko. Additionally, he'd have to watch out for Ryoko if she ever got into one of her moods again, which seemed likely. Tenchi stepped out of the tent, ready to try and enjoy himself. Katsuhito was already packing a few things nobody had really used. Kiyone was helping him with this. Ryoko wasn't on the scene, and neither was Ayeka. This was a good start. Sasami was sitting on a nearby log with Ryoko's GBA in hand actively battling her way up to the point where Ryoko had once been. Tenchi noticed this and was intrigued.

"Are you almost there?" he asked.

"This game sucks." Sasami complained. "I like fighting games better."

"But. . .RPG's have fighting in them."

"Yes, but it's not a test of skill. It's a test of levels and how many potions you should carry into the next dungeon. Boring!"

Tenchi was about to speak again, but a huge explosion interrupted him. The ground trembled violently beneath them, flipping Tenchi over and causing him to land flat on his back, which knocked the air right out of him. Sasami tipped over on the log, sending the GBA flying. A gush of hot wind followed that blew anyone over who had still managed to keep their balance. It smelled highly sulfuric and flattened Tenchi into the earth he was laying on. From over the trees he could see a fairly large mushroom cloud ascending into the sky. It was orange in color. For some reason it appeared to be carrying an electrical current. Bolts of thunder pulsed visibly in an unpredictable pattern around the top.

The exact same orange clouds began invading their campsite, enveloping them inside a tangerine fog. Without even having to guess, they all knew this was Washu's doing. Katsuhito helped Tenchi up while Sasami stumbled over to the portable gaming unit. She picked it up and discovered what she had feared most. The data had been erased and the screen was broken. Sasami sighed and tossed it carelessly over her shoulder. She wasn't too fond of handheld gaming to begin with.

"What was that?" Mihoshi asked, totally surprised.

"Tenchi, hurry up and go see if Washu's okay." Katsuhito instructed. "Take the van!"

Katsuhito tossed him the keys. He caught them and was about to take off running but stopped short as someone was holding him back.

"Let me come with you!" Sasami asked, letting go of his arm once she had made her request.

Tenchi nodded and they both got inside the van and headed out toward Washu's camp site rather quickly. As they neared it, the effects of the blast became painfully evident. The trees in the area had been broken in two, stripped bare of their bark, or completely torn out of the ground. Plenty of dead animals littered the path and most of them had an expression on their faces that seemed to ask just what exactly had hit them as they figured it would be polite of whatever or whoever was responsible to notify them properly, as their lives had just been ended. The spot where Washu's tent had been was now the site of a crater about twenty feet wide and ten feet deep.

A strange luminescent material covered the soil. It was light blue in color and pulsed rapidly. Tenchi and Sasami got out of the van and began looking around for Washu. She wasn't in the crater. It looked like nothing had survived the blast.

"Washu?" Sasami shouted, feeling a dreadful panic creeping up on her.

Nobody answered. Neither of them believed that Washu could have possibly been killed. No experiment ever got the best of her. Could her luck have finally run out?

"I'm up here." Washu responded weakly.

Apparently not. She was in a nearby tree that hadn't been decimated by the blast. It was an older, stronger tree that had been slightly uprooted. Washu was thrown over one of the branches and currently supported only by her chest. She seemed to weak to care about the uncomfortable position. In both of her hands she held two broken Florence flasks. One was still dripping liquid that ate the ground upon impact.

"Amazing. The first one to screw up the day was me. Damn it. . ." Washu said hopelessly. "I'm becoming a member of the family!" she cried out in utter despair.

"What are you talking about?" Sasami asked.

It took a moment for Washu to respond.

"This never happened before I met you guys. Oh, sure. I had plenty of accidents, but not like this. I've had such a mean streak of bad luck these past few months."

"What happened here?" Tenchi asked.

"Whoops." was all she said. That pretty much summed the situation up.

"I see." Tenchi responded, fully understanding the hidden meanings in that simple word.

"I think I saw my life flash before my eyes." Washu said. "I could have done without that."

"Can you get out of the tree by yourself?"

"Probably." Washu said. "I don't think anything's broken."

She threw down the useless flasks before moving her body so it was parallel to the branch. Washu stood up and balanced herself. Tenchi and Sasami watched closely as she began carefully stepping toward the trunk. Without warning the branch suddenly cracked and sent Washu falling directly into Tenchi's arms. He caught her, but she was slightly more heavy than he expected. Tenchi stumbled backward with Washu cradled against his chest and then fell over. Washu was now oddly positioned on top of him. Sasami blushed and looked the other way.

"Umm. . .are you okay?" Tenchi asked.

"I'll probably glow blue for a week if I'm exposed to light for to long, but considering what I was playing with I should be thankful you're not infertile right now for coming into contact with me."

"Excuse me?" Tenchi shouted.

Something dislodged from the tree Washu was just in. Sasami screamed and dove aside, nearly avoiding the falling object. It slammed into the ground and imbedded itself there. Washu's safe had escaped the blast, although it was smoking. Sasami sighed in relief. At first she thought some of Washu's other dangerous chemicals might have been released into the air due to the explosion, but it appeared as though nothing immediately life threatening was in the atmosphere. Washu noticed her disaster proof safe stuck in the dirt and nodded approvingly. Inside the heavily reinforced chamber of solid metal were a couple of things that were capable of causing a worldwide epidemic. She had a much bigger vault with stuff like that in it back at her lab.

Whenever Washu desperately needed inspiration or stress relief, she'd take out one of the vials and fiddle with it, getting pleasure out of how she held certain death in her hands so freely. Just to be certain that privilege would never reverse itself, the containers were made out of the stuff Washu typically used to stabilize violently incompatible chemicals because nothing was as pretty as two conflicting elements living together in a place where they couldn't vent. Her bag with the separate universe was also in there.

She got off of Tenchi and opened her safe.

"What are you going to do about all this land that you've destroyed?" Sasami asked.

Washu opened up her bag and began emptying the contents of her safe into it. Unsavory samples of measles, small pox, and the Bubonic plague fell into a ninth dimension in which the only thing that existed was whatever came into it. Washu was trying to buy some time so she could come up with a good answer to Sasami's question. People from Jurai were always such extreme environmentalists. Then again, so was Washu. To an extent.

"I don't suppose you'll let me leave it like this." Washu ventured.

"Of course not!" Sasami said.

"Washu. . ." Tenchi began, slightly nervous. "There are other people around this area that might have heard that blast and when they see the damage you've done. . ."

"As if. They won't be able to track me. I'm not registered on this planet. They'll think aliens did it and they would be right. I am an alien, after all. I think you have to live on a planet for a year or so before you're actually considered a citizen, but I've never paid attention to those details."

"You don't even have proper documentation to be on this planet, do you?" Sasami asked.

"No way, it's too expensive! Then there's that stupid test. I hate that test. I'm also not a fan of restrictions and being policed for six months to show good faith that I'll behave. Besides, I don't think they care. You know how many people come to Earth? They don't even know we exist, Sasami!"

"But what about all this?" Tenchi asked, gesturing at the destruction. "Do you intend to get away with it?"

"Yes."

"Don't you have any remorse?" Tenchi asked incredulously.

"You can't get everything right on the first try."

She sorted through a couple of her vials before selecting one and pouring it's contents into the earth. Grass began to slowly emerge from the dead soil, which appeared to be getting steadily healthier.

"There. While I can't do much about the trees, this fantastic fertilizer will replenish the grass."

"We'd better get out of here." Sasami said.

"What about the dead animals?" Tenchi asked.

Washu sighed impatiently and clapped her hands together. She said a prayer for them, much to the dismay of Tenchi and Sasami. While the greater side of Washu would admit fault and seek to rebuild the ecosystem she had just destroyed her selfishness realized that it would take far to much time and Washu was not an inherently good person. She was more neutral than anything else.

"Gather them up and have Ryoko cook them. If you do that, they will have died for a reason."

As if on cue, the space pirate entered the scene.

"Good God!" Ryoko shouted.

"Will you people please calm down?" Washu asked. "The blast was nothing more than a surge of electrically compressed air. I'll not bother explaining how exactly that feat is accomplished, but all it did was blow over a few trees and electrocute a number of animals."

"No, that's not what I meant." Ryoko said.

"Did Mend finally wear off?"

"Yes, and oh, my. . .everything is way to real, Washu." Ryoko said. "I feel so cold and I think I finally understand why Mihoshi is so stupid."

Washu raised an eyebrow, silently encouraging her to continue.

"It's because she just is!"

"Alright, you're going to need some medication to help you come down from Mend." Washu muttered.

"There's no time for that. A bunch of curious campers are right behind me."

"Then wouldn't they be here by now?" Washu asked cynically.

"No, you don't understand. . .I can hear them. . .and they're about three hundred yards away. I think."

Washu felt goose bumps pop up all over her body. Ryoko didn't appear to be kidding.

"What did you do to her?" Tenchi asked incredulously.

"Me. . .she. . .April. . ." Washu said, temporarily unable to speak. "Three hundred yards, you say?"

Ryoko nodded.

"Let's get out of here." Washu said.

They all headed toward the van. Tenchi got in the drivers seat next to Ryoko while Sasami and Washu sat in the seats behind them. Sasami scooted as far away from Washu as she could. Washu couldn't blame her and began trying to sort out all her mistakes. Ryoko had probably had her senses heightened once the medicine had completely left her system. She was going through a phase brought on by being completely healed. That meant Washu might have accidentally given her an overdose. She'd probably be in this state for a couple of days at best but then there was no telling what other side-effects would occur.

Washu grabbed her hair in frustration. Why was everything suddenly falling apart all around her? She'd have to do some serious thinking once Katsuhito finished grilling her for destroying part of the forest. Until then, she had to fix her current problem, which was Ryoko's unusual awareness. The medication Washu was thinking of giving her might require an additional medication to come down from the pills designed to dull the effects of Mend. It'd be an endless cycle of drugs. Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a vehicle shooting past them. Forest rangers. Boy, they'd have a mess to deal with. There would be clear evidence of a massive explosion and the only thing they would have to go on was a clunky old safe with Washu's unregistered fingerprints all over it.

When they neared the family campsite, Katsuhito emerged from the trees to meet them. He silently directed Tenchi to swing the van around and pop open the storage area. The moment he did, Katsuhito began throwing in the backpacks. Mihoshi and Kiyone appeared to be putting their stuff away as well.

"Well, this sucks." Ryoko said. "Looks like our trip is over. At least it ended with a bang, right?"

"Oh, shut up." Washu said darkly.

"No, she doesn't have to." Katsuhito said, throwing in the empty cooler. "You're going to be the one doing that while I have a very long talk with you about some new rules."

"It was an accident!" Washu insisted. "Did you know that when things blow up in my lab you guys don't even feel it as it's in a separate universe?"

Katsuhito stopped packing and stood silent for a while, looking directly at Washu.

"You've been blowing up things in my house?" he asked evenly.

"In a _separate _universe." Washu reasserted.

"That is attached to my house. Washu, answer this question for me. What happens if you make something so big that it totally destroys everything, including you?"

"Then only I would know about it." Washu said lightly. Her logic was flawless, but that wasn't the correct answer. "Seriously, though. . .can I have time to make a defense?"

"Yes, Washu. I'll allow you that because despite the fact that you've caused a massive panic throughout the campgrounds, I still consider you a friend. Also, I have a request."

Washu nodded.

"While you think of a defense, please keep this one problem in mind because it has suddenly become the forefront of my concerns. Let us presume that your lab is overtaken by a very large accident either directly or inadvertently caused by you. Would it be correct for me to assume that a vacuum would be created as a result of the disruption that might suck everything in the immediate area into some obscure layer of infinity?"

"I have a way of preventing that." Washu said.

Outside, Ayeka approached Katsuhito.

"Are we really leaving?" she asked.

"I was planning on heading home before the evening, anyway." Katsuhito began explaining. "However, this unforseen incident has sped things up quite a bit. I'm sure that the rangers are going to wonder what exactly caused that explosion. To do so, they will pounce on anyone who looks suspicious. That reminds me, did you pack that annoying floating television, Nobuyuki?"

He nodded.

"We're suspicious?" Ryoko asked.

"Have you checked your hairstyle lately?" Katsuhito asked. "And imagine what might happen if they find Washu's backpack. Personally, I think that's slightly incriminating."

"But won't they check us on the way out?" Ryoko asked.

"Most likely, yes. They will search our luggage when we pull out. But I've already thought about that. Ryoko, you get to be pregnant."

"Can Tenchi be the father?" Ryoko asked.

"Now wait just a minute!" Ayeka insisted. "She's fat enough to be pregnant already. You could store a baby kangaroo in that pouch she has."

Ryoko looked at Tenchi, who merely shrugged. The space pirate was unable to find anything remotely insulting at Ayeka's outlandish statement. For one thing, Ryoko was actually underweight by about three pounds, but she didn't bother telling anyone that.

"Ayeka, Ryoko is much better at telling lies than you are."

"But. . .the mere thought of her being able to spread her genes is overwhelming. Think about it. Two Ryoko's! That's not something you should joke about."

Ayeka's reaction was feeding Ryoko's ego perfectly.

"We should name her, Tenchi." she teased.

"Her?" Tenchi asked.

"Don't tell me you want a boy." Ryoko said in a disappointed tone.

"Washu, hand Ryoko your pack and have her stuff it underneath her shirt. That will prevent them from finding the pack." Katsuhito instructed.

"What happens if they see through our ruse?" Washu asked.

Katsuhito thought about it for a moment while Washu helped Ryoko stuff her shirt in such a way that made her look pregnant. Ayeka watched on helplessly, shaking her head and reminding herself that it was only a joke.

"Ryoko, can you fake going into labor?"

She gave him a thumbs-up. Katsuhito finished packing and then told Ryoko and Tenchi to sit in the backseat while Ayeka, Sasami, and Washu crammed together in front of them and Nobuyuki drove alongside Katsuhito. Mihoshi and Kiyone followed from behind in their own vehicle. Everyone sat in silence as they reflected on the whole trip in an effort to ignore the inevitable search that would come right before they exited the area. The general consensus was that the vacation had gone exactly as expected. Being away from the house did not constitute a fool-proof method of avoiding accidents. That was just how events played out when they were all together. It had nothing to do with karma or some other subconscious alternative.

Katsuhito couldn't stop thinking that he should have known better. Even so, the trip was fun while it had remained stable. Ryoko seemed to be dealing a lot better with her emotions and Washu was finally learning that she wasn't invincible. Tenchi got to spend a lot of time with Ayeka without Ryoko interrupting and they had all learned how much they valued life through the unfortunate fish experience. When taken at face value, the trip could have been viewed as a jumbled mass of dysfunctional idiocy, but there were some nuggets of hope buried deep beneath the surface. The entourage eventually came to the exit gate where they were required to sign out. While the guards checked their luggage and Katsuhito answered a couple of questions regarding the mysterious incident that had occurred earlier, Ryoko grabbed Tenchi's hand.

He looked over at her and saw that she was smiling mischievously.

"Now I'm finally having some fun."

The threat of being discovered and blamed for destroying a part of the environment was her idea of a good time. Tenchi was slightly alarmed at that, but at least Ryoko was happy. Perhaps just one instance with her on the way out could make up for all the time he'd spent with Ayeka.

"I'm glad." Tenchi said.


End file.
